Frat row Gusanoz update

By Katherine Armstrong, The Dartmouth Staff | 11/21/11 3:04pm


So the sketchy guy in the van sell­ing bur­ri­tos on frat row is now a sketchy guy in a sketchy lit­tle red car sell­ing bur­ri­tos on frat row. I had a nice long convo with him last week­end, and got a few tip offs that I'd like to share so my lovely read­ers now the lat­est and great­est with the sketchy sitch.

Jim's last name is not Gu­sanoz. In fact, he doesn't even own the place. He is a combo of a free lance bur­rito roller and de­liv­ery dude, and has a deal with Gu­sanoz through which he takes out a cer­tain amount of "stock (i.e. bur­rito fill­ings), makes them, and hawks them on frat row. He has been a reg­u­lar in the No Park­ing zone in front of the fire hy­drant grac­ing Zete's lawn be­cause, "It has the bright­est light, there's never any­body in the park­ing spot and there's cross traf­fic from Psi U, the Choates and McLaugh­lin."

Jim usu­ally brings 60 to 70 bur­ri­tos and packs them all up in his car to sell on cam­pus. He has arrange­ments with Gu­sanoz as of now to pay for the "stock" that he uses and then keep what­ever money he makes after he cov­ers the cost of the bur­rito in­gre­di­ents. He claims its "good money" but I'd be a lit­tle wary of that state­ment, es­pe­cially when your av­er­age drunkie on a Wednes­day night is faced with buy­ing a bur­rito out of a car from a rando with real cash or real plas­tic (aka credit card) vs. buy­ing a nutella sand­wich from a friend to save the kids or polar bears or what­ever with fake Dart­mouth money (aka Dash).

Jim has the Dart­mouth Aca­d­e­mic cal­en­der up on his kitchen wall at home so he knows when the big week­ends are and when fi­nals will leave Web­ster Ave des­o­late, he said. He said that, "Christ­mas va­ca­tion is the worst time for sell­ing any­thing, in town or out of a car, be­cause even In­ter­na­tional stu­dents have time to go home so the cam­pus is just ghostly." His pres­ence on frat row isn't ran­dom, though it might feel that way to you, as he looks at the weather re­port as re­li­giously as he looks at the Dart­mouth events page to make sure the nights he goes out are per­fect.

Jim will be around dur­ing Thanks­giv­ing, he said, but is going to try to use that time to look into con­vinc­ing Salt Hill that they need a de­liv­ery guy so he can work with them in­stead. He thinks the food would be more of a hit (uh no duh, their sweet potato fries and mus­tard sauce sounds way more ap­peal­ing than a messy luke­warm bur­rito at 3 a.m.), and he hopes that they will pro­vide a van for him to sell out of. He has a bleak out­look for Win­ter term (who doesn't though?) be­cause he won't be able to stand out­side sell­ing food in the neg­a­tive 25 de­gree weather. Hav­ing a van would re­duce the amount of freez­ing time be­cause he could sell from the front or pas­sen­ger seat of the car and keep his body warm in­side, he said.

Until he starts a gourmet mac and cheese truck or be­gins de­liv­er­ing Morano Gelato for sopho­more sum­mer late night drunchies, how­ever, I'll stick to writ­ing about his food in­stead of eat­ing it.

Katherine Armstrong, The Dartmouth Staff