My friends often joke that I spend more time socializing in the KAF line than I do actually getting my order. KAF London Fogs are just as addictive as good company, and unfortunately, my friends have a point. With so much to get done, I’ve had to set clear start and end times for socializing. In these first few weeks of winter term, I’ve become increasingly dependent on my phone calendar. In these first few weeks of winter term, I’ve become increasingly dependent on my phone calendar. Previously, it was just a tool to keep track of midterms and vacation days. Now, it’s also littered with lunch and coffee dates. As Dartmouth students, we often feel pressure to balance working hard with playing hard.
But, maintaining this balance isn’t necessarily conducive to fostering meaningful relationships. It’s easy to fall into the networking trap, interacting with our peers simply out of convenience or in hopes of getting ahead.
While it can be healthy to share interests and career aspirations with our friends, we must be careful not to pass up potential friendships for professional connections. In the midst of a 10-week term, it becomes hard to remember the last time we grabbed a meal with someone just for the sake of enjoying their company. Likewise, it becomes even more difficult to recall the last time we enjoyed a meal alone.
Even with the plethora of career resources available to us, it’s easy to fall into a rut. We obsess over resumes, cry over cover letters and collect business cards like Pokémon cards. Although Dartmouth is a great place to build a professional network, it’s an even better place to foster lasting friendships. At the end of four years, it won’t matter how many “connections” we have on LinkedIn if we don’t have true friends to back them up. For many years, Dartmouth has attracted students who want to make a difference by collaborating, not competing. Perhaps this explains our desire to meet other students, reach out to alumni and make the most of our days on campus.
But, an environment of friendly competition can take a toll. Instead of succumbing to the networking frenzy, we should instead focus on our personal development. With so many places on campus labelled as “facetimey,” it can be hard to find a spot for deeper, one-on-one conversations.
With New Hampshire winter in full swing, it becomes even more difficult to venture off-campus in search of solitude. Midterms, deadlines and corporate recruiting make breaking out of “the Dartmouth bubble” near impossible. With opportunities for professional development and personal enjoyment densely compacted into a 10-week term, it often feels like there aren’t enough hours in a day. In the face of such a reality, the old adage, “Do what you love, love what you do,” becomes especially relevant. But, what happens when every opportunity seems like something you might fall in love with?
To avoid feeling overwhelmed, we must set realistic expectations for ourselves, both inside and outside the classroom. Perhaps the key to balancing our social lives with academics is being deliberate with our time. We should be trying to do things for the right reasons.
Obviously, we should maximize our time at Dartmouth and capitalize on opportunities for personal growth. However, our personal connections shouldn’t hinge on professional obligations. We should take time to reach out to people just for the sake of getting to know them. If we really want to live on the edge, maybe we could try discussing something different over Collis pasta — something beyond the realm of the best professors or job opportunities. Truth be told, we can learn a lot by just chatting and not doing a cost-benefit analysis of every single conversation. Leave that for an economics class.
