When prospective students ask me why they should come to Dartmouth, I always find myself thinking that I am probably not the best person to ask. I have written column after column about my problems with this school and have repeatedly asked myself why I even bother continuing to go here. Yet I have come to realize that I demand so much from Dartmouth because the inevitable truth is that, despite its many flaws, I absolutely love this place and cannot imagine myself anywhere else.
Dartmouth was the last college I visited out of a whopping 20 schools. I did not even want to look at it, for my heart was already set on escaping the Northeast and heading out to California. But of course, Dartmouth easily won me over (summer in Hanover is cruelly misleading), so I applied early and soon enrolled as an incredibly enthusiastic member of the Class of 2015.
What I had perceived to be the undeniable and indescribable perfection of Dartmouth was undoubtedly bound to disappoint me. Indeed, I have been disappointed many times. This disillusionment has often been perpetuated by the actions of my peers, but it was my own behavior at Dartmouth that initially disturbed me. I began to binge drink like there was no tomorrow and ended up in several situations that had serious repercussions. Like many others, I became obsessed with body image, eating and exercise. I was eventually able to tackle these issues, but they dominated my life here for far too long.
It is frightening that these personal problems are not only pervasive at this school, but are often regarded as completely normal and acceptable as well. Yet these are only two of the numerous upsetting aspects of mainstream Dartmouth culture. I am seriously concerned that sexual assault on campus is so rampant, disparaged and ultimately silenced. I am frustrated that students here face blatant harassment for their sexual orientation and sexuality ("slut-shaming" and the like). I am saddened by the artificial diversity that this school claims to embrace. I am dissatisfied with a social system that judges and accepts students primarily on their looks and superficial personality traits (though many, of course, will deny this to save face). And I am scared that people get caught up in the "rudeness" of a protest rather than attempting to appreciate the desperation that must have overcome those students who chose to speak out.
Despite all this, I tell prospective students that I am actually very happy here. There is so much at Dartmouth that sustains me and helps me grow and learn. I have met the most amazing friends, who are incredibly funny, intelligent, thoughtful and eager to have meaningful conversations. I love our daily three-course FoCo dinners, late night adventures, trips to the skiway, afternoons skating on Occom Pond and relaxation sessions on the Green or by the river. I loved leading a DOC trip and appreciate the many ways in which Dartmouth lets me tap into my slightly outdoorsy side. I love my amazing professors, who have been so engaging and inspiring, even in subjects that I had never imagined myself pursuing. I love the Dartmouth language program and am in awe that I was able to become proficient in Arabic in just over a year. I love the Tucker Foundation for funding me to live and work in Peru for two months. I love Dartmouth alumni for helping me find an awesome internship for my off-term. And I love writing for the opinion section of a newspaper and actually having relevant things about which to write.
"Dartmouth has a problem." Actually, it has many problems. But there are dedicated students who want to fix them, and are indeed working to do so. More people, however, need to get on board. I do not feel guilty or wrong for loving Dartmouth and, of course, no one else should. But it is time to actually admit and consider these problems instead of alienating and disrespecting those who have the courage to put them forth.
