'13 Girl 1: I wish I were Calvin Harris.'13 Girl 2: Why?'13 Girl 1: Then I wouldn't have to write term papers.
'14 Guy: Shower hookups combine my two greatest loves I love hooking up and I love taking showers.
'14 Girl: No one Tinders anymore.
'14 Guy: Isn't the APhi basement made out of some material that absorbs beer?
Chemistry Professor: This species is one of the most reactive in organic chemistry. It's like if you haven't been on a date in six months, you're really reactive and aren't very selective.
