Despite the tone of this piece, I truly believe that all of the following are noble career paths, but it's just too easy (genders are mostly arbitrary). Without any further ado, let me introduce you to every Dartmouth student ever.
The pre-med student This student is the child of two doctors. He is a member of Medlife, Dartmouth EMS or both. On an off-term, this student travelled to a developing country and provided care in a medical clinic, or he might have spent time living at home working in a "lab" where he was forced to perform sadistic acts on mice for the sake of "medicine." This student already has his MCAT flashcards, which he began to study while off-call from his EMT services and in between those bruuutal orgo (have you heard about orgo?!) midterms. Even though in 20 years this student will be the primary medical care provider for your children, right now you wish he'd shut up about "public health" and stop sitting in the front row at every JYK talk. When asked why he wanted to be a doctor, one '13 who wished to remain anonymous said, "I dunno. That's a good question. I should probably know that right?"
The finance/consulting studentWithin this archetype, there are two primary varieties: a) This student is an economics major, and in a frat largely because of the extended network of "bros" who will want to hire him because they were h@zed in the same way.b) The art history or other more obscure humanities major who pretended to be completely uninterested in "selling out," yet was front row in her business casual best at the first Goldman info session.
The "alternative" studentA creative writing or philosophy major who scoffs at his or her over-ambitious peers who don't understand existentialism and are following their parents' path to so-called "corporate sell-out"-dom. This student will probably work unpaid for a nonprofit, or paid at a bookshop for a year and a half before becoming fed up when Mom forgets one too many times to reboot the wireless in the basement, and will then take the GREs. Alternatively, she might end up in a cabin in the woods of New Hampshire and produce the next great American novel.
The politicianThis student is some kind of government/economics major and public policy minor combo, has or will intern in Washington, D.C., (for the second time, because obviously she was a Rocky First-Year Fellows) and she schmoozes the same way she crushed Public Policy 5: with joy. When asked whom she's going to vote for in the all-important SA presidential elections, she refuses to endorse so as not to "step on any toes." Will she be president some day? "I'm not going to say I've ruled it out," a '13 who wished to remain anonymous said.
The athleteThis person is extremely talented in his respective sport. So talented, in fact, that because of yearly training regimens, he is on the 12-year track for graduation. He is an Olympic hopeful, perhaps for the second time. He's switched class years multiple times, making him a 24-year-old in a freshman seminar, but hey freshmen are still freshmen, and he's still going to blitz out to the class list to see "who wants to hang out later?"
