Awards season. I don't know whether it's general boredom or the need to make February a little more memorable, but for some reason around this time people feel the need to start handing out hardware like Collis Ray (or his protg, Henry Luehrman '12) deals breakfast sandwiches. My theory is that, by the doldrums of early March, everyone could use some recognition. A little self-esteem boost. Just a symbolic pick-me-up that says, "Hey, here's to you."
As the month abruptly comes to a close, we've seen our fair share of Grammys, Oscars and in my case Hanover parking tickets that I have no intent of ever paying. So put on your nicest pair of sweatpants and your least-stained flannel. Consider me your less-botoxed but equally-irrelevant Joan Rivers as I guide you down the green carpet heading into Collis for this year's inaugural ceremony. It's all there the glitz, the glamour, the vegan pot-roast. It's time to hand out some Snowys: 11W version.
Best Original Song: Hands down goes to "Coming Home" (2010) by Diddy. Ever since Carmelo was traded to New York and MSG Network made a commercial superimposing quotes from him about returning to his "hometown team" it has become the anthem for all fair-weather Knicks fans. Also, in classic Puffy fashion, he ripped the song directly from J. Cole without getting any heat for it, which deserves recognition. The fact that my boy Chauncey just buried a 30-footer in Dwayne Wade's face to beat the Heat in Miami also helps the cause.
Best Director: There are not a lot of Dartmouth coaches who look like they might actually belong on the red carpet, but if there's one it is new men's tennis coach Chris Drake. I'll say it he's a good-looking dude. Check out his photo on DartmouthSports.com. In my book that's enough to win him the award outright, but his other credentials are pretty impressive. After graduating from Brown in 2003, he played pro tennis and was at one point the 10th highest ranked American in the world. At Dartmouth, he's coached the squad to some pretty nice early-season wins over Boston College and St. John's University. To top it all off, my sources on the tennis team tell me he just whoops up on them during practice, which is pretty sick gotta love a coach who knows how to put those dainty little tennis punks in their place.
Best Documentary Feature: There is one especially notable true story that has happened this winter: the NBA's rebirth. It has been a saving grace for a lot of diehard sports fans in a time where there is usually a lull. It all really started with the Heat assembling its powerhouse squad this summer. Let's face it, as much as people want to be all altruistic and fair about making the league as "competitive" as possible, nothing is better than star power to get people interested. That's why this Carmelo experiment is so compelling. People love to see big players team up to do exceptional things. Can you imagine if President Obama called up the prime minister of China and was like, "Listen Wen, you're kind of killing us with this whole currency thing. Also, let's let bygones be bygones with our $900 billion debt and get on the same page." The result: a U.S.-China tandem powerhouse attempting worldwide control. That's what the NBA is like right now. Except you have multiple superpowers vying against each other for NBA domination! Tell me that's not good entertainment. The quality of play is higher, and the players seem to be playing with a determination begetting a need to prove their worth. For fans that just like good basketball, they can to turn to the NBA in lieu of a dismal year for Dartmouth basketball (combined 12-39 for both men and women, sorry guys) to get their fix.
Best Picture: Talk about your classic feel good story: On Sunday night, Hugh Jessiman '06 (and alumnus of my alma mater, Brunswick School in Greenwich, Conn. self-call) made his NHL debut for the Florida Panthers. As a sophomore at Dartmouth in 2003, Jessiman was drafted with the 12th-overall pick by his hometown New York Rangers. While most students were worried about what fraternity they were going to shake out at, Jessiman was dealing with the pressure of managing thousands of people expecting the local boy wonder to make his hometown team. He returned to Dartmouth for his junior year and was met with terrible luck from injuries that sidelined him. He bypassed his senior year to join the Rangers, but initially struggled adjusting to the pro game and was traded to the Nashville Predators. Marred by injuries, Jessiman struggled for the next few seasons. Finally, eight years and 348 American Hockey League games after he was drafted, Hugh recognized his dream of playing in the NHL on Sunday. It is a remarkable story of perseverance in the face of daunting expectations and unfortunate luck. And who knows maybe he'll come back someday to get those nine credits he still needs.
