Call it end of term apathy or Winter Carnival hangover or whatever you want, but for some reason this week's inaugural mailbag felt slightly lighter than I expected. After only minimal amounts of self-promotion and arm-twisting, however, I was able to dig out a few worthy questions from loyal or soon-to-be-loyal readers. And, to quote Bill Simmons, "These are actual questions from actual readers."
Q: Dear Always Snowy,
How much dumber are recruited athletes than regularly admitted Dartmouth students?
Love, Anonymous girl thinking about dating an athlete but not sure he's smart enough for me
JB: Great question. This is one of the age-old debates concerning athletes and non-athletes at an Ivy League school. Here in Hanover, the intellectual distinction between those who play and don't play a varsity sport can vary drastically depending on a variety of factors. I feel like the relationship between athletes and "nonners," as athletes like to call them, is pretty egalitarian across the board maybe because Dartmouth is smaller than some of its other League brethren. There isn't too big of a gap academically, socially or even physically (sorry, Dartmouth athletes) that impedes a lot of interaction.
As far as I understand it, this is a far cry from how it works at a lot of similar institutions say, Columbia, where the athletes pretty much only hangout together and even go as far to label the non-athletes "muggles" (at Harvard, "nerds;" Yale, "hipsters;" Brown, "hippies"). The reason it's different in Hanover? The non-athlete attracted to this school, for the most part, isn't your geeky intellectual who's never watched ESPN before. Those guys are going to gravitate to a more brand-name Ivy like a freshman girl gravitates to TDXMas. No, the kind of "nonner" who is drawn to Hanover is a more outdoorsy, somewhat well-rounded smart kid. So no matter which direction you go, I don't think you'll find yourself talking to someone that much dumber than yourself. Still, I think intellectual prowess can vary by sport. So I've attached a useful guide that might help you "nonners" find your academic equivalent in the athletic world.
1) Ivy League Meatheads (football, lacrosse, hockey and track and field): No, these guys are not meatheads because they are the largest dudes on campus nor because they are the least intellectually inclined. It's all relative. With sports that require a lot of recruits per class, you're generally going to have some variance in how smart/dumb each player is. Football and track get like 30 guys per class, so odds are you're going to have some really smart guys balancing out those at the opposite end of the spectrum.
2) Soft-Guy Sports (swimming, tennis, golf and cross-country): While these guys might not be doing it for you physically as much, odds are they'll be able to carry on a conversation about international politics a bit more fluently. Not only can coaches only get in 3-4 kids a year, they play sports that are naturally conducive to braininess.
3) Walk-On Potential (squash, crew): If you're really looking to date an athlete with a good head on his shoulders, look no further than a sport where you'll get the best of both worlds yes, the walk-on. Walk-ons got into Dartmouth on their own, so they have the exact same academic credentials as you, yet were insecure enough to feel the need to play a sport so they can consider themselves jocks.
Q: Dear Always Snowy,
I understand that Barrett's chafed, but I am pretty chafed right now too. It is ridiculous that Blake Griffin won the dunk contest by jumping over a car whereas Javale McGee dunked on two different hoops at once and got second. First of all, I get it NBA: You are pumped that Griffin drove a Kia out onto the court because that is the official car of your league (which is a joke in itself because how many NBA players actually drive Kias?). But realistically, with a running start, I could clear the front part of a Kia (even though I'd be nowhere near the hoop) and I firmly believe that most NBA players could have completed that dunk. Second of all, how is having a car on court even relevant to the game of basketball? I don't think the fact there are defenders in his face is the reason Griffin has never completed the car-jump-dunk before. No. It's because it's not possible. I am sick of all the show in the NBA and I want to return to the mean, bullying basketball of the early 90s. I am chafed about this. Are you? Chafed Guy
JB: Yes, very.
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