This Saturday, in the form of yet another systematic 9-0 trouncing, the Dartmouth men's squash team became the latest notch on Trinity College's proverbial bedpost. Or whatever's left of it, at least. After 12 consecutive national titles and 200-something victories in a row, that post must be nearly whittled down to a pile of sawdust by now.
As athletes and sports fans, we're attracted to the idea of perfection. Everybody seems to watch in awe as players and teams threaten to break age-old streaks of consecutive triumphs. Think about some of the most legendary marks of all time: Cal Ripken Jr.'s 2,632 straight games played, the New England Patriot's near-perfect 18-1 season (chafe them) and even recently the University of Connecticut women's basketball team's 90-game winning streak.
So why do we hold our collective breathe during these miracle runs? It's because eventually no matter how long they go on for these things eventually get broken. The threat of fallibility is what makes them so remarkable.
Ripken's streak is only so epic because he passed the seemingly unreachable number formerly held by Lou Gherig. And he ended it himself by choosing to sit during a late-season home game against the Yankees in 1998. The Patriots were a gimmick catch away from nullifying the 1972 Miami Dolphin's claim on the only "perfect" season in football history, and Stanford University bested the UConn women in mundane fashion in what would have been the 91st game of their streak.
Here's the point: If you're going to have a winning streak that people care about, do it right. Give us a close call or two. Cut if off at a reasonable number. Show some restraint, for everyone's sake.
Because after 12 years, people get tired of watching the same thing over and over again. Like, alright Trinity, we get it you guys are really good. You go out and recruit all the nastiest foreign players and then parade around the northeast, emasculating already very emasculated squash players in a sport whose number of avid fans is approximately equal to the number of matches in a row that you've won. At the courts on Saturday, Trinity coach Paul Assainte was hawking his new book, "Run to the Roar," (2010) in between introductions and the actual match literally selling the story of his "incredible" winning streak before unleashing his weapons of squash destruction, extending the streak another match.
The winning streak has grown to the point of losing its allure. It's hard to get excited about things that you've seen so many times before, whether it's Trinity squash's 23rd straight national championship or the creation of another a capella group here at Dartmouth. Not only that, but every replication seems a little more B-side. It's like comparing Evolving Vox and Dartdorm.
With every match they continue to win, Trinity is essentially stealing their own thunder. Here in Hanover, we've got this fake zombie game being played that is creating a little bit of the same problem. Can somebody explain this to me? We've got "Ivy League" students running around with Nerf guns and orange headbands like it was my brother's 9th birthday party at Discovery Zone (okay, actually my 18th) and no one is going to say anything about it? The obvious problems with this aside, this is clearly infringing upon the Sun God's territory as resident Weird Campus Guy. So listen zombie guys, I'm really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but the Sun God was one of the best Weird Campus Guys of ALL TIME! That was his thing! If there was one thing that guy had going for him, it was dominating the space of strange campus spectacles.
So sorry, been there, seen it and still think Humans vs. Zombies is weird it's an afterthought. By the time Trinity wins its 500th match in a row or whatever, it'll be an afterthought, too. Everybody's gonna be like yeah, that's what they do though right? It's just a given. Nothing special about it. It's one of those things that on the surface is totally unbelievable, yet has become so ingrained in our understanding that we don't even bother to spend time thinking about it anymore. Like, is Lindsay Lohan really the same girl from the Parent Trap? The only way you can really react is basically, Yeah dude whatever.
Basically, the beauty of a winning streak is also the main reason for its demise. Sure, people like the idea that perfection can be exemplified. But everything is best in moderation. So, you're the man, Trinity. But it's getting old. As for you zombie guys, there's definitely something else you can do to bide your time than steal the Sun God's thunder. I'm pretty sure that's why World of Warcraft was invented.
