True or False: I go to Dartmouth. Therefore, I am entitled to a better job, faster car and hotter spouse than you.
At Dartmouth, we work hard and we play even harder. We are the elite. The cream of the crop. And boy do we know it. We haven't come here to learn, fools; we came here to make the big bucks.
And according to the 2010 Payscale College Salary Report, we got no need to worry. Dartmouth ranks second nationally in the mid-career median salary category. Which means by 42, I should be rolling in at least $123,000 per annum. So I be dropping my resume like it's hot at Bain, Goldman Sachs and Bridgewater. And you know, all those other corporate joints. Cause when I wrote my college essay about being the change I wanted to see in the world, that's what I really meant.
I mean, I can't change the world without no money, yo.
After I've put in my time as an investment banker or consultant wizard, then I'll do my part to do some good for humanity. Just think of all the skills I'll have acquired by then I'll know how to run a Fortune 500 company. I'll know what stocks to invest in and what dividends to expect. And this is all by my mid-30s since I will have begun consulting with all my newfound wisdom at the ripe old age of 22. I'll also have my Bentley by then. And more than likely be onto my second husband.
I came to Dartmouth to make money. To take advantage of alumni connections. And to rule the world from Wall Street. I sunk over $200,000 into my education; I am entitled to this kind of life.
But I ask: When did we become so goddamned entitled and fixated on what we think we deserve? Whatever happened to us doing what we love and just being happy?
I don't know. Maybe some of you are passionate about crunching numbers or living out a slightly more glamorous version of "Office Space" for the rest of your life. Maybe some of you think this is what will take you places in life. You're just doing your time. One day you will be a CEO. Or a politician. Or a widely respected consultant and expert in the field.
But will you be happy? Will it have been worth it?
I have found at times that Dartmouth has groomed me to become a person I am not comfortable in being. Dartmouth has taught me to run in different circles than in which I was raised. Dartmouth has taught me that if I am not great, if I am not influential, I have wasted my education. I have not taken advantage of my entitlement.
But Dartmouth is wrong. Just look at how many of us need counseling. Need medication to take our exams and pull all-nighters. Need alcohol to assuage our fears and act as our social lubrication. This isn't how real life should be.
We are entitled to better.
With the rising price of our education, we have come to expect a certain level of income upon graduation. Ultimately, we have grown accustomed to a lifestyle that is unsustainable. And no, this isn't an environmental appeal to consume less resources either though that'd be nice rather, this is an appeal that you choose to do what makes you happy. Not what makes you richer.
What does it matter what circles you move in and whose elbows you rub if you can't be happy? Because most of the younger alums I've talked to, who have come back to pitch the corporate world, disclose to me in private how much they hate it "But, hey, at least it pays the bills."
But I just don't understand that kind of logic. Why do we put a paycheck above our own happiness? I know we have student loans to repay and aspirations and dreams to fulfill, but I think we're missing something key, and that is most of us are destined to be ordinary people.
Not all of us will become CEOs of Fortune 500 companies or Presidents, or even members of Dartmouth's Board of Trustees. So why do we spend so much of our waking hours doing things we don't love? Working towards end goals we'll never quite reach. It just doesn't make sense to me.
My father is not Dan Rather. Nor does he regularly make guest appearances on CNN to offer his journalistic insight. He is just your regular, local TV-station general manager. But you know what? He's happy.
Sometimes I use to wonder why he and my mother never aspired to lead high profile lives where they moved and the whole world shook. Why they were content with living in a small town, raising a child who played on pee wee softball teams and had the same best friend since she was seven. But, I guess I've realized more and more while at Dartmouth, that that kind of life doesn't sound all that bad to me. It actually sounds pretty ideal minus the Louisiana summers. You ain't experienced heat, until you been down South.
And yes, I know; Dartmouth teaches us to be leaders. To take on the world's problems as our own. To rise to the top in companies because of our self-starter motivational skills. But I say, "eh." I'd rather take a low-paying job where I'm actually happy and able to connect with loved ones around me, over a workaholic corporate gig where I have a beyond fashionable wardrobe, but come home every day alone to my half empty bottle of gin.
