Back in 2007, when I first heard that Josh Schwartz creator and executive producer of Fox's "The O.C." would be in charge of producing a new television series based on the bestselling "Gossip Girl" teen novels, I was thrilled. Judge me if you will, but I'm not ashamed to say that I read the "Gossip Girl" books throughout my sophomore year of high school. Actually, I am kind of ashamed, but since I'm reviewing "Gossip Girl" and thus admitting I've seen every single episode I don't have much dignity left anyway.
In the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you freely that I am a "Gossip Girl" expert. I know every plotline, every detail of the characters' lives on and off the show and even what every character wears in each episode. So you can trust me when I tell you that the third season, which will conclude next Monday, is not really worth watching, unless you are in it for the fashion.
The show's problems begin with its characters most of whom are completely intolerable. Upper East Side socialite Serena (the supposed bad girl turned good, according to the show's first two seasons) has spent the third season jaunting around to brunches and parties, showing little concern that she is unemployed. The producers glossed over the fact that Serena had been accepted to and should have attended Brown University this year, addressing it tangentially in a few episodes early this season, but failing to come to any real resolution. Her current beau Nate the wealthy heir to the Vanderbilt fortune, who has dated virtually every female character on the show stands around looking attractive, but never says anything of substance. Dan and Vanessa, now a couple as well, are supposed to be the artsy, intellectual ones, which is entirely ludicrous, considering they never talk about anything artsy or intellectual other than their Tisch applications. Blair and Chuck ironically, the ones who are supposed to be cruel, frustrating and obnoxious are by far the most tolerable, as well as the most three-dimensional, characters on the show.
Whereas the characters in Schwartz's "The O.C." were likeable and developed, his "Gossip Girl" crowd is completely devoid of depth and personality. Just think of Seth Cohen. "Gossip Girl" could not handle Seth Cohen. He's too smart. Serena would get confused whenever he opened his mouth.
What was right with "The O.C.," and what's wrong with "Gossip Girl," is perhaps best seen in the difference between the shows' soundtracks. No one will ever forget the famous bellows of Phantom Planet's "California" that opened every episode of "The O.C." the swell of the music and the swell of the waves made your heart swell right along with them. Ben Spier of Entertainment Weekly aptly described the "The O.C." as a "mixtaper's dream." The six official soundtracks released by "The O.C." during the show's run are among a hormonal hipster's most played, including songs from Death Cab for Cutie, Modest Mouse, Imogen Heap and LCD Soundsystem.
And what about the music they play on "Gossip Girl"? What music, you're probably asking, because it's not memorable in the least featuring a mix of well-known but bland indie bands, like The Virgins and Vampire Weekend, with popular Top 40 hits.
The one thing that "Gossip Girl" still has going for it, however, is the fashion. Eric Daman, the show's main costume designer, does a consistently fantastic job, and the characters' personalities are much more richly captured in their clothes than their dialogue, at least in the case of the female characters. Blair has moved past her trademark headbands of past seasons, but has still maintained her conservative, blueblood style of knee-length Escada and Marc Jacobs coats with matching Louboutins. In the past couple of episodes, her formal gowns have been particularly memorable, including a strapless crimson Dior; a nude, cap-sleeve Marchesa; and a floor-length, champagne-colored Matthew Williamson gown that really stole the show.
Serena's clothes, by contrast, are more eccentric and laid back, and although her formal wear is indeed beautiful, the focus seems to be highlighting her body more than the clothes themselves. (Really, the only reason I would tell a straight male to watch "Gossip Girl" is if he wants an excuse to stare at a scantily-clad Blake Lively for 40 minutes straight.) If Blair dresses for women, Serena dresses for men, focusing on Stella McCartney lace, sensuous J. Mendel chiffon and luxe Herve Leger spandex. (I know that "luxe" and "spandex" don't usually go in the same sentence, but Serena somehow makes it happen.)
If you're not into fashion, however, I don't see any compelling reason to watch "Gossip Girl." The glamour was charming and fun in the beginning, but has since grown vapid and tiring. The acting is, of course, absurdly terrible, which could be completely acceptable if it the plot was entertaining but it's not. Although CW renewed "Gossip Girl" for a fourth season, to start in August, I think the third may be my last. I can look up pictures of the outfits online without having to waste 40 minutes watching a full episode.
