As the spring season descends upon Dartmouth, many eagerly await new beginnings after a cold and difficult Winter term. Similar to the ball dropping on New Year's Eve, to many the sun finally peeks its way through the dark clouds is a farewell to old mistakes and bad habits. I, too, fell into this spirit of transformation, promising myself over spring break that I would formulate a more concrete identity rather than continue on with a wavering, context-dependent character that had previously sufficed.
On the last day of Winter term, the column by Brendan Woods '13 ("Don't Meet Me Halfway," Mar. 9) further solidified my determination to finally define who I was in a clear and definite manner. I believed everything from my double major in Biology and Government to my vegetarian chili and chicken noodle soup combinations at Homeplate were, as Woods pointed out, a result of my fear of choosing one thing over another.
As I contemplated it more over break, however, I began to believe less and less that moderation and ambiguity are detrimental qualities to have. Woods contends that equivocation is preventing intellectual debate at Dartmouth, arguing that "when compromise becomes the norm, we are less open to new and challenging ideas." However, I don't think the lack of debate on campus is the result of equanimity in the minds of students. Rather, we seem to avoid controversy and heated discussion through our persistence to form simple, stereotyped identities whose foundations rest on extremes rather than on balance.
While everyone seems to be on the same plane during freshman year, experimenting and exploring his or her place on campus, the trend toward the extremes begins to form during sophomore year. Becoming affiliated with a Greek house is a big transition point for many Dartmouth students, not only because it gives them a new social group to interact with, but also because it provides members with an automatic stereotype. Those who choose to be unaffiliated face other assumptions based on their inaction.
This division can be seen in other areas as well. There are those who decide to stick with being pre-med after freshman year and then spend all their time in the library. There are those who choose to commit themselves to a varsity sport despite the huge time commitment. There are those who develop close ties to a cultural or religious organization. This is not to say that people here aren't well-rounded individuals with many interests. However, by sophomore year, many emphasize the similarities with the particular identity they have chosen and downplay any differences that would result in a more disparate and more honest identity.
It is the consequence of downplaying these differing parts of our identity that prevents our growth through intellectual conversation. The unequivocal character that everyone seems to yearn for after freshman year undermines each person's ability to relate to others outside of his or her own stereotype, and engage in meaningful conversation with them.
The real fear for the majority of students then is not making concrete choices, but rather not having an outward personality that is fully defined by the end of sophomore year. I realize that it was this fear that prompted me to want to define myself over spring break, in order to fit myself into a mold that could easily be aligned with a specific category.
However, I now feel that buying into this fear and trying to structure myself along rigid lines would actually be detrimental in the long run. While forming close attachments to certain groups or spending a lot of time on an activity certainly has its benefits, it's important to remember that a person's character should not be defined by a single aspect of his or her life. Instead, people should be more open to externally embracing different aspects of their person and forming a unique identity that may be equivocal but will be an honest representation of who they actually are. Consequently, people who are outwardly balanced rather than extreme will engage in more debate by meeting others in the middle instead of avoiding contact and interacting with only those who are similar to themselves.
So as the term begins this week, instead of worrying about defining my identity, my goal for the Spring is not to conform to a specific stereotype, but instead to embrace all of my disparate interests and just be fine with that.
