In light of all the hype generated by the anticipated arrival of Three 6 Mafia at Alumni Hall this Friday, and the unscrupulous scalping that has resulted due to a shortage of tickets, you may be wondering: "Why wasn't my student activities fee able to guarantee me a seat?"
Every term, along with our tuition, room and board, books and miscellaneous expenditures, we ante up $75 in student activities fees. Granted, $75 doesn't seem to break the bank when there's tuition to consider, but what exactly does our money go towards? We're paying to be entertained, but where are the dividends?
Turns out that each of our $75 goes into a big black kettle known as the Undergraduate Finance Committee, which then appropriates the money to a variety of student-interest groups, including Programming Board, Committee on Student Organizations, Student Assembly, Club Sports and the Special Programs and Events Committee, to name a few. The budget of each of these organizations varies from year to year, and some overlap is permissible.
But what kinds of things is our money funding, exactly? To find out, I went for an insider's perspective, examining three of Dartmouth's most glamorous funding institutions: PB, COSO and the Daddy Warbucks of them all, SPEC.
Nestled in a comfy alcove of Home Plate, I began asking Ezequiel Politzer '11, executive co-director of PB this term, the hard-hitting questions, like: "What is PB?"
As one might guess by the name, PB is responsible for the social activities of campus, from celebrating traditions like Winter Carnival and Orientation, to subsidizing movie tickets at the Nugget. And don't forget all those movie nights, bingo nights and free food events. But please, don't go labeling PB as "alternative."
"Alternative is a contentious label," Politzer said. "PB is not trying to fight other things people do, only provide other fun things to do on campus."
PB co-sponsored the Big Green Bus Dance Party during Green Key, in addition to this Friday's big Spring Concert, featuring Three 6 Mafia, . But when I asked Politzer how it was that I remained ticketless, he shared my frustration.
"One of the hardest challenges PB faces is working with the administration to plan events ahead of time," he said. "It's tough to bring in acts to the school because the administration won't give us dates ahead of time, so by the time it comes to book a venue, all the big ones are gone."
So I took my case to Robert Hoffman '10, chair of SPEC. But it wasn't long before I saw that SPEC would be unable to guarantee me a seat at Three 6 Mafia.
"SPEC is a funding organization for large events over $5,000," Hoffman said. "We don't do the actual planning of an event, though. We leave that to the organizations themselves."
During Green Key, SPEC sponsored Phi Delt's Block Party, the Green Key Weekend Step Show, and helped to bring back the Green Key Ball. Other events SPEC has sponsored include PRIDE Week, Lose the Shoes and the special Post Secret event, featuring the site's creator, Frank Warren.
"SPEC tries to mix two types of funding opportunities every year: events that happen every year like Lose the Shoes, and one-time-only events like Post Secret or Status Quo," Hoffman said.
SPEC does not bring in concerts, however, as that is PB's "territory." But refusing to give up on my quest for tickets and answers, I sat down with Derek Weiss '09 of COSO to talk. Unfortunately, the closest thing to a concert that COSO funds is an a capella showcase.
COSO recognizes and funds student organizations that don't fit into other funding organizations, like the Tucker Foundation or Dickey Center. From a capella groups, to the Union of Bogglers, to The Dartmouth Independent and Dartmouth Free Press, COSO's got the money.
"We don't fund all of our organizations; we only fund certain things. The majority of our funding goes toward events that increase education and awareness through print publications and speakers with a recreational aspect to them."
Weiss said COSO provides alternative social outlets for the student body.
"COSO has been a great way for me to know about everything that is going on campus and let other people enjoy Dartmouth as much as I have," Weiss said.
So while it doesn't look like I'll be attending Three 6 Mafia this year, it does seem that there are plenty of alternative events for me to hit up in the near future. See you at Collis Up All Night? Sounds like a date to me!
