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The Dartmouth
May 3, 2024 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

HEAR AND NOW: Christina Aguilera, U.S. export commodity

My ninth grade English teacher has been vindicated.

On my off term in Prague, Czech Republic, I recently came across the modern equivalent of the sirens' song, proving my teacher's contention that the Odyssey has relevance to modern life. I'm talking, of course, about the ultimate siren songstress: Christina Aguilera.

While walking through Prague's Old Town Square, booming bass thudded against the Gothic cathedrals and pavement cafes from some unseen location behind me. I turned, only to be accosted by a powerful "Oh-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-heeeeey."

Such a sound could only come from the lungs of Christina. And Christina was performing in Prague. Oh. My. God.

My friend and I tried to resist like the Odysseus of lore, but we lacked the willpower.

Following our ears, we reached a hastily erected stage. Alas, her royal highness was not performing, but there was something even better in store: a glorious hodgepodge of cultures.

Officially called "The Cultural Programme of the Na Slovanka Primary School," a more accurate (if a tad prolix) title for this festival would have been "The Dance-Off to American Pop Music As Performed by Baton-Twirling Five to 10 Year Olds in Paramilitary Garb."

The first group of dancers scampered off the stage to a smattering of applause from the crowd, which was comprised of a healthy number of German tourists and proud parents. Then, the 2005 Madonna track "Hung Up" began, and the slightly older and tougher looking "blue team" jogged on to the stage, led by a tough-looking, harshly featured girl who visibly snarled at another youth who almost dropped her baton.

As Madonna hypnotically chanted, "Every little thing that I say or do / I'm hung up, I'm hung up on you," I thought, "How appropriate. Order some goulash. I do not want to leave this strange scene anytime soon."

The dance-a-thon caused me to question the meaning of "our" pop-culture. Do Americans still have the right to claim pop music as "ours" in a day and age when its ubiquity firmly tags it as a transnational phenomenon?

If my experience is any indication, I don't think so.