Don't let all the cap-tossing and picture-taking fool you; graduating from college is not a festive occasion. My brother and his friends were despondent when I watched them graduate from the University of Michigan last year. In fact, the only people offering congratulations were parents, most of whom were simply ecstatic to be done paying tuition bills.
The mood at Dartmouth seems equally pessimistic, with seniors regretfully listing their "lasts" as the end of the school year draws ever closer. It makes sense, then, that so many alumni return for big weekends.
During these homecomings, however, two troublesome things occur: Alumni drink until they're belligerent, and then aggressively try to change Dartmouth back to what they remember.
Just to be clear, I love alumni. One of Dartmouth's greatest strengths is its alumni network, and the swim team I compete for would not exist today were it not for generous alumni.
That said, a lot of alumni return for big weekends and unleash havoc upon our small town. They try to fit a year of college drinking into three or four days. As a result, they break windows. They steal Greek organizations' composites. They cheat on their spouses with undergraduates half their age.
I wish I could say that only recently-graduated students return with such vigor. When I worked for the class reunions in spring 2008, however, I saw this unruliness during events for the Classes of 1987, 1977 and earlier. Still worse was the behavior of the alumni after their scheduled events had ended.
I'll admit that my perceptions may be off. When I walk into the basement, it's the blacked-out, half-naked man peeing in the corner that attracts my attention, not the many students drinking responsibly or choosing not to drink at all. Likewise, I may only remember the sloppiest, most belligerent alumni, who, say, hit on my floormate, or start a steak fight at Psi U, while the majority enjoy themselves in less destructive ways.
But then again, it isn't just the alcohol-induced hostility that I find worrisome. What prompts this rowdiness seems to be the alumni's desire to make the College conform to what it was when they attended, and this is indicative of a larger problem.
Graduates are pressured by responsibilities more burdensome than research papers and early morning drills. Some of the alumni's behavior is understandable, and I have no real problem with them blowing off steam by drinking obscene amounts of alcohol, as long as they pose no danger to themselves or others.
But too frequently, alumni cross those lines. They destroy property that was once theirs, knowing that undergraduates will not interfere because the alumni are successful and well connected. And then they rail about how Dartmouth has been ruined, and how they'll withhold donations until things are returned to the way they used to be. They intimidate us, and they know it.
This article is not meant to bash Dartmouth alumni. Barring nuclear war, a severe emotional breakdown or the total collapse of our economy, I will be an alumnus in two and a half years. When I come to visit, I know I'll want to find the Dartmouth I experienced as a student. But, when I find that the school has changed, I hope I don't drink until I'm too drunk to notice the changes anymore.
Dartmouth is not the Homecoming bonfire, the Green or sophomore summer. Dartmouth is a campus of students, first and foremost. As they change, the school transforms. Traditions fail, new ones take their place, and life goes on. Eventually the Lost Boys have to grow up, even if they can still shotgun eight beers in a row.
