Dear Old Dartmouth,
As our venerable Winter Weekend approaches, it seems like there could not be a better time to drink your sorrows away. The College's endowment crashed harder than the snow sculpture; 'stimulus package' isn't as dirty as you wish it was; your corporate recruiter seems like he's just not that into you.
That's not to say, however, that you can't find the elusive silver lining. The post-meltdown snow sculpture is indeed amorphous, but it's the first in years that doesn't depict some sort of disturbing animal (belligerent squid? hallucinogenic white rabbit? Who thinks of these things?).
So instead of doming until you forget all your problems, why not celebrate the centennial of the DOC by taking advantage of all the good, clean, outdoorsy fun this Weekend has to offer? If you absolutely must indulge in some mood-altering chemicals, the Polar Bear Swim will give you enough adrenaline to last until Spring Break -- without those meddlesome S&S officers making you take a breathalyzer test.
Last, but not least, take a moment to reflect on our College traditions. The DOC lasted 100 years for a reason -- it embodies the best in Dartmouth students. Gold Coast hot tubs may come and go, but our optimism, creativity and willingness to break new ground will last us through the recession and beyond.
Have a great weekend, everyone! Don't do anything we wouldn't do.
