I have the utmost pleasure of belonging to the Class of 2012, the best class Dartmouth College has ever had. But as we transition from the glorious dramas of high school to Dartmouth's hallowed halls, we naive '12s forget that the duty falls upon us to combat the stereotypes others hold about the baby 'shmen.
Contrary to what most upperclassmen believe, we freshmen remain fiercely aware of our 'shmobs and awkward frat-basement comportment. We embrace our title as socially inept newbies who desperately want to experience Dartmouth's acclaimed nightlife. But perhaps it is time to enhance the Dartmouth social life with our youthful presence. Can we please talk about the Saturday night letdown?
As newly matriculated collegians, the '12s eagerly stress over our first college courses. The week is meant for studying, while Fridays and Saturdays are for a crazy time -- just like in Animal House, right?
Friday nights you can readily find students prancing up and down Frat Row: playing it cool at the sight of a Safety and Security SUV approaching and embracing the freedom of college life. But when Saturday night arrives, another supposed occasion for outrageous parties and excusably ridiculous behavior, the 'shmen seem to over prepare for an evening of disappointing lameness. When an intensely anticipated night turns into pre-gaming in the Choates and awkwardly hovering around the almost empty basement of Tri-Kap, things get tense. Suddenly, we little '12s feel outraged and betrayed.
This can't be the college experience that we've awaited for so long. Granted, we do not attend an Ivy League school solely for the Saturday night fever. But do we not deserve a break from an intense week of Chem 5 and Italian 1?
The answer is yes, we do in fact deserve everything that we can possibly milk out of this place. And I firmly believe that the current 'shmen have the drive and passion to make Frat Row come alive on Saturday nights. So drop your Calculus problems and forget studying for Econ. It is time to step up and end the madness of a weekend of lonely, drunken 'shmobs wasting away at Food Court at 1 a.m. (That said, who can't appreciate a phone call from a Trippee saying, "Dude, I'm totally 'shmasted at Foco right now"?)
We must take matters into our own hands. Dare to be that fabulous 'shmob that you are. Go to that dorky dance party at Phi Tau. If the 'shmen are there, the party is there. We should not get all ready to go out and depressingly end up in our floor's lounge, spending our last dimes on EBA's and swapping stories about the good old days when Saturday nights were the perfect repose from the frenzy of school. We obviously can't rely on our upperclassmen "role models" to have a good time on the weekend. The only thing the older students show us freshmen is that Saturdays are for extra freaking out about the homework due the following Monday.
Maybe the '09s, '10s and '11s need a little lesson on managing their time so they can relax on a Saturday night and make the '12s better appreciate Dartmouth's social scene. Better yet, the freshmen must take responsibility for the Saturday night letdown and do something about it. The highlight of your weekend should not be playing Mario Kart on your floormate's Wii; it should be experiencing the thrill of the college scene with your alleged upperclass role-models showing you the time of your life.
I understand that such an inspirational message will be overwhelming for all the '12s out there, but once we've settled in and gained some perspective, we can start a revolution.
We can turn the Saturdays of disappointment into the renowned Saturday nights that will go down in college history. Change the Saturdays, change the world.
