Green Key is over -- the ultimate sign that the end of term is near. With finals nearly in sight, I quote Dr. Seuss and ask, "How did it get so late so soon?" As a Dartmouth alum himself, Dr. Seuss would know better than any other writer how time at our College seems to fly by. It seems like only yesterday that I was a freshman learning the meaning of 'boot and rally' or nerdily asking the people at the circulation desk how to check out books.
While every year spring is understandably a term that has its spotlight on our dear seniors, I am not an '08. Thus, I will address my fellow '09s, who are now starting to see the beginning of the end -- and may be reflecting, as I am, on whether they have been utilizing their time here in a truly meaningful and enjoyable way. Personally, as my time runs out, I am realizing that I have been worried about all the wrong things in my past three years here instead of simply having a good time.
In the week leading up to Green Key, I was told on three separate occasions that I needed to have more fun in life and stop worrying so much about schoolwork. Usually, comments like these strike me as nothing but criticism veiled as advice. Or so it seemed to me at first -- until I realized they were absolutely right. For the past three years at Dartmouth, I let academia and deadlines and internship hunting and major cards dictate my mood. At least once a term, I have a mini emotional breakdown over these things, even though I know, in the long run, they will work themselves out just fine.
In all honesty, this is all a bit embarrassing to put down in ink, but I figure I should bare all about something like this. Why? Because after seeing '07s come back this past weekend with wistful looks in their eyes, and watching '08s savor every minute they have this term, I have finally fully realized the importance of the here and now -- and how much I haven't been taking advantage of it.
In my last column ("High School Movie," May 7), I claimed that people here like to up the rage factor because, as the saying goes, "in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king." I still think that most Dartmouth kids like to seem super "ragey" because at a nerd school like ours, there's an animalistic desire to be king of the nerds. But maybe, on some level, there's something to be said of people wanting to go beyond what seems for most to be a given -- intelligence -- and connect with something that might actually be harder for us all to find: our spontaneity, thirst for fun and willingness to 'carpe diem.'
Maybe I'm alone in my sudden realization that life is about more than just getting ahead or forging a brilliant resum, but something tells me I'm not. It's an unfortunate thing that all the beauties of our little College have to be coupled with all the horrors of an Ivy League institution; mainly, the pressure not to merely succeed, but to be stellar. Doesn't that sound like a concern of the privileged? Well, let's call a spade a spade. It doesn't seem enough that we can leave here with a decent job -- we need that amazingly well-paid but mind-numbing position at such and such consulting firm or banking group. If we don't get it, we're suddenly inadequate.
It's hard to step back sometimes and look at ourselves from an outside perspective. We might be confused and have no idea where we're going in life, but it seems we've been doing pretty well for ourselves so far. With that in mind, I hope any other '09s out there like me will take our senior year as it comes -- without the pressure of life after Dartmouth causing us any more undo stress. Better late than never, right?
