Leaves are changing, pledges are in gear, breath begins to make a physical appearance at night -- fall is truly here, and with this season comes Homecoming, the weekend to end all weekends. The freshmen are dealing with their excitement by spending countless hours to build a pyre on the Green, only to watch it go up in flames tonight. So for those of you who are new to this whole "big weekend" thing, I hope that the stages outlined below, set to music, give you a more realistic -- or at least a more creative -- way to envision the next few days.
First, there is Excitement.
Whether primping and asking roommates to review your potential outfits, or Facebooking and asking friends to review your potential hook-ups, there's a certain amount of anticipation for any big weekend, especially Homecoming. Here are some tracks to fix your hair and get your hopes too high:
"Friday I'm In Love," The Cure: A peppy ode to the weekend, and for us at Dartmouth, it singles out the night of the bonfire.
"Juke Box Hero," Foreigner: Aspire to be this. And Foreigner is totally the new Journey, so please stop shrieking every time "Don't Stop Believing" comes on in AD.
"Like A Lady," The Sounds: My own personal get-pretty, get-pumped song, so I can convince myself that it is indeed worth going to our next stage of the evening(s)...
Pre-gaming, and probably too much of it.
In vino, veritas my friends, so drink up and tell that cutie from Econ 1 how you feel later tonight. Shot after shot can get boring, and if done alone in a dorm room can verge on the pathetic and intervention-inducing. Here are some jams to convince yourself and your neighbors that you drink because you're cool, not because you desperately need a social lubricant.
"My Slow Descent Into Alcoholism," The New Pornographers: Because "just one" rarely works. If you want to sound deep, discuss whether the song embodies the microcosm that is one night, or the broader theme of four years of college.
"Gonna Be a Blackout Tonight," The Dropkick Murphys: Don't kid yourself, you already know where the night is headed.
"Wasted & Ready," Ben Kweller: Now that you are drunk enough to feel comfortable in large crowds of people you vaguely recognize, you can stumble out the door and on to...
The Party Crawl.
Stop in Frat A, get some face time and form an opinion on the scene that you can loudly share in crowds, then move on to Frat B. It's simple.
"Can I Kick It?" A Tribe Called Quest: This is the conversation you have when trying to find a 'shmob that makes you feel popular and safe.
"Whiskey Bar," The Doors: This speaks to the desperation inherent in trying to find a place to drink that still has beer and whose atmosphere won't make you sick.
"Maps," The Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Always have a plan of attack or a route, so that if you get separated from your group you'll still manage to find them eventually ...
The Dance Party (or Disco).
The funk is indeed kept alive on frat row during big weekends, either by a few frats trying to out-blast Billboard's Top 40 or, on this weekend in particular, the journey back in time as offered by Tabard.
"I Don't Feel Like Dancing," Scissor Sisters: In a great instance of musical irony, this song will actually get you in the mood to dance. Mind-blowing.
"Yes Sir I Can Boogie," Baccara: You've been practicing your sweet moves in your room for days now. Bust them out and prove to the world that you are a smooth operator.
"Your Cover's Blown," Belle & Sebastian: Or prove to the world that you're uncoordinated as you try to find this amazing bass line's beat ...
Exhaustion.
It might be the late nights, it might be the dehydration, it might be mono, but it always happens. Get yourself a bagel and then focus on preserving your energy and not booting for most of the day.
"I Want to Die," The Deadly Snakes: If you're not asleep, then you're probably bent over a garbage can or a toilet, thinking these very words.
"Lost Weekend," Lloyd Cole: Says it all, folks. Don't even try to be productive, until you have to ...
Rally for the Final Night.
You might be jaded, you might be tired, but college only happens once and you only have anywhere from two to eleven of these weekends left. So pull yourself together so you can tear your health apart.
"Beer for Breakfast," The Replacements: Sometimes momentum is the best cure. There are plenty of opportunities to keep on trucking all day, every day.
"Living on a Prayer," Bon Jovi: Because at this point, it's all your liver might have to go on.
"One More Time," Daft Punk: You can sleep when you're dead.
