By the time Winter Carnival rolls around, students have learned to reconcile fashion and sub-zero temperatures, removing flip-flops from their basement attire and finding that one perfect niche for their black North Face fleece. With an abundance of theme parties across campus this weekend, however, the celebration presents a unique fashion challenge for Dartmouth students: how to maximize appropriate costumage while minimizing frostbite.
Kapa Delta Epsilon Tackies: This is probably the easiest of all the Carnival parties to dress up for, since inappropriate layering epitomizes tackiness. Combine all of your favorite colors, textures and styles to create an outfit that keeps you warm on the trek to frat row, but make sure to choose fabrics that let you breathe, and enough sequins to distract fellow partygoers from the fact that your bottom layer is long underwear.
If in doubt, layer more than necessary, and if you're sweating up a storm on the dance floor, simply strip off a few items; hats, headbands and earmuffs are all good choices for the first items to go.
Sigma Alpha Epsilon Champong: This is a tough party to turn down, since the long-awaited break from Keystone and opportunity to wear the heels you haven't pulled out since prom is a tempting pull. However, the thought of making it to SAE in said heels without breaking an ankle, or more importantly, making it home without breaking an ankle, is daunting at best. Furthermore, with the little black dress finally coming out of the closet, it'll be a race against time to make it to the champagne before you've done serious damage to your exposed skin. Take note of the strategy utilized by uniform-donning school girls across the northern part of the country: wear sweatpants. This is not to suggest that taking an alternative approach to formal wear is the way to go -- find your coziest pair of sweats and wear them under your dress for the duration of the walk both ways.
With regard to shoes, the only solution is to wear your Uggs and carry your stilettos. Trying to find a happy medium of rural-esque and winterized heels will likely be an unsuccessful endeavor.
Alpha Chi Alpha Beach Party: Clearly, the originator of the beach party had a sick sense of humor, and most likely lived in the house, so he didn't have to brave the cold travelling to and from the beach party. But for those of us who don't reside in AXA, the whole dressing-for-90-degrees-when-it's-only-five-degrees thing is a legitimate concern.
Ignoring the obvious issue that by this point in the year any semblance of a summer tan is long gone and there has been plenty of time to develop that nice winter blanket of fat to stay warm, it seems inexcusable to show up to a party that has shipped in tons of sand without a costume. You could take the more creative route of confronting this problem by doing the whole beachy-warm thing -- make like a hardcore surfer and wear a wetsuit. The neoprene will keep you dry and warm, and you will finally have a legitimate excuse to wear the ridiculous goggles you've always wanted to sport and it's a good alternative to long bathroom lines. If, however, you forgot to bring your wetsuit up for Winter term (happens to the best of us), it's all about finding the right clothes for the walk over.
Given that everyone will be stripping down once they arrive, there will be more than the usual amount of clothing strewn everywhere -- find a cozy one-piece suit to wear under your jacket to minimize the number of clothing items you have stashed upstairs. Then for the actual party, be as daring as you wish, but be considerate -- even if you feel comfortable in a Speedo, will everyone else feel comfortable with you in a Speedo? Think about it.
Sigma Nu Early '80s: The genius behind '80s aerobic attire is that it is full of built-in mechanisms to keep you warm while enabling you to be entirely spandex-clad. Thus, all you have to do is channel Jennifer Beals circa "Flashdance" and pull out the off-the-shoulder sweater, find a killer pair of leg-warmers to wear on top of those leggings you wear every day anyway and crimp your hair. A scrunchie (or two) wouldn't hurt either. Inevitably, the vast number of people gyrating to "867-5309" will force you to strip off the sweater and leave you glad you wore a sweatband, but if you dress to work out then sweating like you're working will seem entirely appropriate.
Theta Delta Chi Pig Roast: Though not technically a costume party, the whole concept of social interaction involving daylight is traumatic enough to merit a mention. Not only will everyone be in top form from the night before, but with a forecasted high of 24 degrees on Saturday, a cute blazer and pashmina will not suffice.
Instead of trying to make your down jacket and Sorels cute, why not kill two birds with one stone and wear a sleeping bag. Not only will you be phenomenally warm, but during Carnival you never know when you'll need a makeshift bed. Chances are that everyone will be so caught up in drinking away their hangovers and fighting over pig meat that no one will be able to tell the difference between the sleeping bag and those full-size down jackets that have popped up along with the low temperatures. Getting dressed for this party isn't quite worth it. Save the cute outfits for the rest of the weekend and avoid hypothermia without losing facetime.
In conclusion, the key to Winter Carnival is picking your battles carefully because you can't win them all. Simply untag the unattractive photos and it'll be like you never went to a party looking less than your very best.
