Welcome to yet another WOE, where the going gets tough and the tough sometimes turn into brain-dead zombies. Take, for example, the Seattle Seahawks, circa Sunday, January 14, 2007. I will remember that date for a long time, or at least until I win my money back, as the date that the Seattle Seahawks stole hard-bet money from me and millions of other brilliant sports bettors around the country. After winning the coin toss in overtime, the reigning Super Bowl runners- up managed to drive just 18 yards and not even reach midfield before Ryan Plackemeier's 18-yard punt, kicking the ball and any hope of victory pitifully out of bounds. Despite going 2-2 this weekend, I will offer my picks for the coming week's games in hopes much like Dartmouth's basketball team of hurdling over the .500 barrier.
New Orleans at Chicago, Soldier Field (-2)
Despite my firm belief that Reggie Bush has been over-hyped by no talent hack sportswriters for the past two years, and as much as I would like to see the Bears back in the Super Bowl, I'm going with the Saints. Not because it's the popular bet to make this week, but because of something I saw in the Bears/Seahawks game last weekend -- the look of complete and utter helplessness that descends upon Rex Grossman's face during games. It's very similar to the "Where Am I?" look that you see under Eli Manning's helmet every weekend, and Rex's melting point will be easily reached under the hot lights of the media this weekend. Take the points.
Indiannapolis at New England, RCA Dome (-3)
For me, this game is like picking between going to a 7th grade girls' softball game or the romantic comedy of the season. They're both miserable events. Much like these two teams. Peyton Manning must be wetting his bed every night this week hoping that he chokes this Sunday instead of winning and then being forced to choke in the Super Bowl. Meanwhile, Tom Brady is still probably wondering where management found his wide-out corps, and why he hasn't had time for more magazine spreads with farm animals. I hate them both, but you can't bet against a 12-1 playoff record, so I like the Pats for the second week running -- my all time record. Take the points.
With such little time and space left, I'll press forward with a few awards for this week:
Biker of the Weekend: George Hood, Aurora, Ill.
Saturday evening, George Hood, a federal law enforcement official, set the unofficial world record for riding a stationary bike, finally stopping after 85 hours of continuous cycling. Hood was quickly taken to a hospital as a precautionary measure and for the administration of fluids after he had reached his 85-hour goal. In setting the record, Hood raised over $25,000 for the Illinois chapter of COPS, an organization dedicated to aiding families of slain police officers. This guy is about as bad-ass as Bear Grills and Chuck Norris put together, and may rank up there with the Hulk and pirate ship captains as one of the most badass dudes ever.
All-Star of the Weekend: Martin Brodeur, G New Jersey Devils
After being selected to his 9th All Star game this past weekend, Martin Brodeur has a shot at matching Glen Hall's All-Star game wins record. Brodeur, at age 34, is only getting sharper between the pipes, leading the NHL with 26 wins and seven shutouts, and is second only to Dominik Hasek with a 2.07 goals-against average. Luckily for Broduer, Hasek was left off the All-Star West roster, prompting him to say, "As long as that dirty Czech isn't stinking up the net I shouldn't have any problem stonewalling those West Coast nancy-boys."
Almost Comeback of the Week:
Although Tuesday night is far from the "weekend," we'll make a special exemption to the rules of WOE awards for the Dartmouth men's basketball team, down 41-28 at halftime against UNH. Displaying typical Dartmouth hardiness, however, the Big Green mounted a comeback, led by Leon Pattman and sophomore Alex Barnett, and closed to within two points with just eight seconds left in regulation, but UNH made foul shots and eeked out a 65-61 victory. Maybe if more fans had made it to the basketball game it might be a little harder for visiting teams to make last second free throws with the game on the line. Just a thought.
