The idea to write this came to me during my last ride in a Safety and Security cruiser. Most of my first eight terms here saw my wild imagination produce myriad conspiratorial metaphors to describe the antagonism, produced by the simple fact of drinking on campus, inherent in the student-Safety and Security relationship. My nights spent out on campus saw the whiteboard of my mind filled with game plans for how I would dive into the bushes around Blunt Alumni Hall to avoid silver SUVs. My friends and I could barely walk 100 yards on campus without worrying that the not-quite-Astaire-like bounce in our step might possibly be noticed. I remember hearing Safety and Security referred to, admittedly tongue-in-cheek, and not a little appallingly, as "Gestapo."
And then I turned 21. I never had the relative sanctuary of a fraternity to guard me from Hanover's Eye of Sauron before this because I am unaffiliated. Everything changed in an instant. Walking through campus as the clock struck midnight had an amazing effect on how I viewed the vehicles driving around. I was never lucky enough to have a run-in with an officer while underage. In that moment I may have exaggerated my inebriation in front of them, hoping for an interaction that consisted of handing over my ID and sauntering away with a knowing smile.
Perhaps for my less paranoid brethren here, there is always a playful, and maybe immature, relationship between the underage student body and the Safety and Security officers pulling the night shift. Maybe theirs is an interaction better characterized by a reference to Wile E. Coyote than by one to Hitler's secret police. It is impossible to imagine, though, that this erases the tension. If you get away, you get a bit of a rush; if you get caught, very bad things can potentially happen. It is hardly a fun game when only one side is playing for keeps. Underage students and Safety and Security will always have an antagonistic relationship.
We should not be surprised that the root of this animosity is the drinking age law itself, and not the evilness of the freshman heart. Were the drinking age in line with the most recognized age of adulthood, 18, virtually everyone on campus would be a legal drinker and the College would not feel obliged to fight alcohol consumption as it does currently. It is this obligation that ultimately sours a relationship that should be an enjoyable one. At the end of the day, the constant stream of silver and green around campus creates an atmosphere of safety and security (bad pun intended). They should be positively revered for this.
For the last three months they have carted me around campus. They offer this transport service to any student so disabled. As I learned in October, my bicycle attracts Postal Service trucks. Difficult as it was, it would have been absolutely impossible to remain an active student had I not had the option of getting a ride from my apartment near Hanover High at my every whim. The only reason I can still expect to graduate this June with my classmates is because of Safety and Security's help.
In general, Safety and Security gets a bad image on campus for doing a job that even College President James Wright does not want them to have to do: catch underage students drinking. It is common knowledge that Wright has stated that everyone's life here would be easier if the drinking age were lower. He is indisputably correct. The game of chess calculated by every underage student here against Safety and Security could devolve into a playful, mutually enjoyable game -- Pee Wee Herman instead of Sun Tzu.
Unfortunately, thanks to machinations of the federal government dealing with highway funding, the likelihood of anything being done to change this is very, very small. Prohibition of any kind involving adults will cause huge problems, and in our small, bucolic winter wonderland it has manifested itself as hardworking men and women devoted to our welfare bear scorn where they deserve respect. I regret to admit that I did not realize this until I needed their help. I hope it only takes one of us to get hit by a truck for us to all collectively realize this.
Thanks, Safety and Security.
