I find it hard to understand why I loved the film "Half Nelson." I wasn't so naive as to assume this would be all smiles and giggles, but I also never anticipated being left so uneasy, so disillusioned and yet so in love with a story. I am not alone in my excitement, judging by the film's enthusiastic reception at several film festivals this year.
Ryan Gosling, who is arguably the most talented actor of his generation, stars as Dan Dunne, an inner-city school teacher and basketball coach who talks with an easy, streetwise awareness and masterfully controls the teasing, disinterest and confusion that plague the typical middle-school classroom. His students want to learn, and it is clear that he has largely encouraged their thirst for knowledge. Which makes it all the more surprising that he goes home everyday and submits to a crack habit.
Searching for solace after a basketball game, Dan retreats into a locker room shower for a quick fix. There, predictably, he is caught by Drey, one of his students. Newcomer Shareeka Epps plays this tough, nearly mute young girl, and with just a flicker of her eye she signals her understanding of her teacher's situation. Her brother is in jail for small-time drug dealing. Drey has seen what drugs can do to a life and knows a downward spiral when she sees one. This encounter develops into a unique friendship, one full of crushing failures and personal defeats. The film reminds us that though circumstances may fail us, we fail no one more than ourselves.
Not exactly the most joyous tale of human triumph.
The story, the acting and the almost-voyeuristic cinematography marveled me. Epps is the heart of the film and certainly holds her own against her co-star, embodying the tough tenderness of a child who has been disappointed by those she most admired. I have been a fan of Gosling's since his debut in the controversial and provocative film "The Believer," and he has yet to disappoint me with a performance. One blink of his sleepy yet fiercely observant eyes says more about his character than the monologues of most other actors. Both performances deserve endless accolades, as does the thoughtful and controversial script. But I cannot honestly say that I had a single positive feeling after the credits rolled.
Was I going insane? Did I set the bar too high and was simply wishing the film could be what I intended?
After some thought, I realized that I was not disappointed in the film, but rather disappointed in the truth behind it. Sometimes there is simply a reality that is neither black nor white. After the film, I left the theater shaken but ultimately thankful for the experience.
