Well hello, '10s! So you've survived three days of college classes, made it home unscathed after your first dance parties (at least those of you who did not get picked up after trying to convince Safety and Security that you've matriculated and it's now all right to urinate on the Blunt Alumni Center), and come out the other side of an absurdly long (and forced) freshman orientation. My congratulations.
In the next few paragraphs I will conclude your orientation with a straightforward introduction to Dartmouth athletics -- the do's, the don't's, the entertaining and the ugly. It's all here, my children, so take notes and enjoy.
First it is important to understand that if you have come to Dartmouth looking to fulfill your college sports fix, you're best bet would be to transfer to Duke. Hanover is no South Bend, ESPN College Gameday won't be setting up shop in the middle of the Green anytime soon, and the majority of sports-intelligent students at this school have a favorite college team that is not the Big Green.
Fan apathy has long persisted at our beloved undergraduate institution, due mostly to the high school-like atmosphere found at Big Green sporting events. Because we lack a national competitor in one of the two most popular college sports -- football and basketball -- few students find themselves motivated enough to venture across campus to one of our sporting complexes (which during the winter can seem like they are in another country!).
Football games are fun until about halftime. By the second half it is usually clear that our team will have no chance for victory and escaping some increasingly frigid weather tends to outweigh the prospect of staying at Memorial Field for more than an hour. I would, however, highly recommend attending Homecoming. The mere fact that more than 100 people show up makes it a good time. Furthermore, waiting to see if any overzealous freshman will rush the field at halftime makes it worth sitting until at least the third quarter!
The most competitive men's basketball team visiting Hanover this winter is the University of Pennsylvania, which does not say a whole lot for our home scheduling. The best bet for basketball fans looking for at least the opportunity to watch our boys get trounced by solid competition would be to travel to Amherst on Nov. 11 to watch Dartmouth take on UMass in its first game of the season.
Last year, men's basketball went 6-21, winning only four of 14 Ivy League match-ups. This year, the Big Green will travel to take on two of the nation's top basketball programs -- Kansas and George Washington. While a major improvement on last season seems unlikely, basketball always ranks amongst the most exciting sports to watch at Dartmouth, and the intimate (tiny?) atmosphere at Leede Arena make most games enjoyable despite their lopsided results.
For true basketball fans, our women's team should appeal to you. While women's collegiate sports certainly fail in national popularity contests, the Lady Green have made two consecutive NCAA tournament appearances, and almost achieved the biggest upset in school history last year, losing to third-seeded Rutgers by a mere five points in the first round.
Lacrosse and soccer, both men's and women's, also find themselves atop the hierarchy of popular Dartmouth sports. Not only are the players incredibly sweet, but the teams aren't too bad either. Women's lacrosse games are highly recommended, as our team has made the final four of the NCAA tournament two years running, including a national championship loss to Northwestern last season.
Far and away the most exhilarating sporting experience at Dartmouth is men's hockey. Not only is our team consistently ranked within the nation's top 20, winning the ECACHL for the first time last season, sellouts at the 4,500-seat Thompson Arena are commonplace. The games are loud, intense and highly-competitive. Coming from New York City, I used to make fun of the two people I knew who liked hockey -- now it's one of my favorite sports. We have a number of players who have been drafted by NHL teams and even more from Canada. Indeed we are a team made up largely of immigrants! Talk about diversity!
While Dartmouth may not be challenging Texas or Stanford for the Director's Cup anytime soon, the College does hold one distinct advantage over other major universities with more competitive sports programs. Our athletes are our classmates in the truest sense of the word. They are our roommates, our pong partners, our equals in a manner unique for Division I schools.
We may not have a Rose Bowl to look forward to, but we'll remember our athletes as much more than just untouchable campus icons (sorry laxers) -- we'll remember them as our friends. That, in itself, makes rooting for all of our teams that much more worthwhile and meaningful.
