Dartmouth Medical School published a study in April's issue of the American Journal of Preventative Medicine linking ownership of alcohol-branded merchandise (ABM) to experimentation with alcohol among 10 to 14 year olds. Basically, middle-school students who own t-shirts, baseball caps and other items bearing the names of alcohol companies were found more likely to have experimented with drinking.
While my copy of April's issue was unfortunately lost in the mail, I got wind of the study from the self-call corner of Dartmouth's website. As intrigued as I was when my mouse clicked the link, my curiosity changed into astonishment as I read the posted blurb. I left a voicemail for the man whose name appeared at the bottom of the site, requesting a complete copy of the study. Minutes later, I had the seven-page text, complete with tables and charts, in my BlitzMail in box.
I'm not a statistician. I thumbed through the file and understood very little. And once I began thinking about how the numbers fit together, I understood even less. My UGA said it probably had something to do with econometrics. That was enough to make me banish the print-out to the floor of my room and return to my computer to write, regardless of the fact that I'm horribly unqualified to provide any criticism. But, here goes nothing.
The heart of the issue is that middle-school-aged kids really think that drinking is cool. Ultimately, coolness and pressure from friends are what sculpt one's identity in those awkward years. Virtually nobody that age has the perspective to blaze their own trail to individuality -- they just want to be liked regardless of how many Abercrombie or Budweiser t-shirts it takes. And, the reason drinking is cool is that we have ludicrously blown it out of proportion. This study relies on the fact that underage drinking is just inherently bad and has no merit. I couldn't disagree more.
My parents, both educators, raised me to think that drinking really was no big deal. Anything that is forbidden automatically yields more temptation, and for adolescents, drinking is no exception. The forbidden fruit tastes sweetest, and for that reason, I can remember taking Memorial Day sips from Dad's cozy as young as six. I like to think that because my parents encouraged me to taste wine and beer when I was younger, drinking was less tempting and exotic as I got older. I ultimately experimented with drinking when I was ready because it was never forbidden or deemed rebellious behavior. Maybe Mommy and Daddy's social experiment will turn into a miserable failure and I'll die alone, drunk and poor. But, at least I've been equipped to deal with four years at Dartmouth, and my drawers are not full of ugly t-shirts emblazoned with brand names.
The lead author of the study, Dr. Auden McClure, says, "We recommend that parents discourage their children from wearing these products and that schools limit the display of alcohol-branded items among students." But, this advice seems horribly misguided. Discouraging ownership of alcohol-branded merchandise only makes wearing such items that much cooler.
If we really want to make drinking uncool ,why not make beer t-shirts required school uniforms. Wouldn't that make enough sponsorship money to buy a seat, textbook and competent teacher for every child (something we haven't managed to do yet)? Maybe making ABM suggested dress for librarians would work too? It's really too bad that Jose Cuervo doesn't make cardigans.
And while I recognize that much unhealthy behavior stems from adolescent drinking, don't studies like this just aggravate the issue? Clearly, the forces of good are losing the battle with alcohol companies; beer commercials have million-dollar budgets, something that no parental unit can possibly counter. Media Dynamics, a New York-based firm, reports that "the average American is now exposed to 254 different commercial messages a day." There is just not enough time for parents to ensure that their kids do not get the wrong message from each ad they see. In fact, I'm surprised that more parents aren't up in arms at their kids' obsession with any branded clothing at all.
Seems to me it would be a better use of our time to let middle-school students experience the realities of drinking in the safety of their own homes. Let Timmy taste some beer with dinner if he wants, but only after he's finished his algebra.
And while you're at it, tell Timmy not to believe everything he reads.
