Matt Hill: So I've got to admit, early on in the show last night I was actually afraid that I'd get every category right.
Meredith Fraser: Yeah, I was kind of confused why you were concerned about that.
Hill: Well, first of all, I would officially be an Oscar nerd --
Fraser: You already are.
Hill: -- and second, I didn't enter an Oscar pool, and I could've won millions of dollars, with which I could have done many profound and untold things.
Fraser: True. We were both acing our ballots because the winners were so predictable ... until the end, that is.
Hill: And then Jack Nicholson ruined everything.
Fraser: I thought maybe he read "Crash" by accident through his obvious intoxication.
Hill: I thought it was a joke at first. How could "Brokeback Mountain" have lost? The DGA, the PGA, the WGA, the Golden Globes -- for which "Crash" wasn't even nominated -- a bevy of critics awards and it was the highest-grossing flick of the bunch! And it was about gay cowboys. And there was no pudding involved whatsoever.
Fraser: (groan) I know. I would have bet so much money on "Brokeback." But I have to ask, in a way, are you actually happy that "Crash" won? I mean, we've both admitted we enjoyed it more than watching Heath and Jake play tonsil hockey.
Hill: Yes, I know, I did enjoy it. It's just that "Crash," though entertaining, is a bit questionable in its message.
Fraser: You think? I thought the whole "Racism is bad" theme was pretty clear.
Hill: But does it mean to say that we're all racist? That we're all good and bad -- gasp -- at the same time? The script overuses a very convenient device to fool its audience into thinking its characterizations are complex: it demonstrates its characters' strengths in one scene and highlights their evils in the next. Matt Dillon's character sexually harasses a black woman one night after pulling her over, and then saves her life the next day. Ryan Phillippe stands up for a black man and then kills one because of his own subconscious prejudices.
Fraser: Right, and Sandra Bullock insults the Mexican locksmith guy and then admits her maid is her only friend. But also, the film is just simply manipulative. The whole scene with the little girl getting "shot?" What an obvious ploy for sentimental pangs from the audience! I hated that part when I first saw it. And of course the structure of the script itself has been done before, and more cleverly.
Hill: Yeah ... heh, well, I sort of liked that scene --
Fraser: Oh, you would.
Hill: -- but it was the blanket! She thought she was wearing the blanket!
Fraser: I know, I think it's normal to like that scene. I was definitely playing the part of the cynical, jaded film snob when I first saw it. The thing is, I enjoyed "Crash" a lot. I even defended it in Film Society meetings.
Hill: Them folk was none too happy with last night's proceedings.
Fraser: Yeah, I liked Brendon Bouzard's comment: "Let's go burn some cars."
Hill: And he almost did. But really, I've always generally been a "Crash" supporter. It really was the best ensemble work of the year, and how Paul Haggis assembled a cast of Don Cheadle, Terrence Howard, Matt Dillon, Thandie Newton and seventy others for a movie on a $6.5 million budget is beyond me. It's a movie that will get people talking, that's for sure; it's just unfortunate that it was at the expense of "Brokeback," which is likely a classic in the making, despite my reservations about it.
Fraser: See, that's why I was so upset with "Crash" winning. I feel like "Crash" was a simplistic popcorn flick -- worthwhile and insightful maybe, but far from profound. I read the "Brokeback" short story and it really ripped me up inside. And then it was adapted perfectly. The story is specific to the two men in the sense that it's homosexual love when homosexuality was not yet accepted, but everyone can relate to it, under the if-you're-lucky-enough-to-find-true-love-seize-it-while-you-can umbrella.
Hill: I guess there are a few theories on why it didn't win -- one being that maybe there still is homophobia in Hollywood after all.
Fraser: No, I don't think the homophobic claim has any truth to it. This is the same group of people that awarded "Midnight Cowboy" 36 years ago, and that even gave the award to Philip Seymour Hoffman's portrayal of Capote this year.
Hill: That's true. There's also the fact that Lions Gate distributed 180,000 screeners to Oscar voters this year -- a staggering statistic when compared to "Brokeback's" modest supply of 20,000.
Fraser: However you paint it, it will go down as one of the most shocking upsets in Oscar history.
Hill: It really was the only surprise of the night, except maybe for the unthinkable victory of "Memoirs of a Geisha" for cinematography; how could anyone watching "The New World" not want to throw gold in Emmanuel Lubezki's direction? They could at least have thrown "Brokeback Mountain" a bone --
Fraser: Nice pun, Matt.
Hill: Not intended! But if they were going to vote "pretty" -- and that's exactly how many people think when they vote for Best Cinematography -- they could at least have gone for subtle-pretty, not showy-pretty.
Fraser: True. The acting categories were especially predictable -- Witherspoon, Hoffman, Weisz and Clooney were all the favorites. That said, I was so relieved that Reese and Philip Seymour won. They were overdue and they both made their movies.
Hill: Yes, although I was sad to see Joaquin so neglected; his Cash intonations and guitar-gun would have earned him many awards in a lesser year (or, at least, in a year not right after "Ray.") He looked damn pissed last night -- maybe he discovered word got out that he's only 5'8".
Fraser: He is? Sad.
Hill: It seemed like he was the only person not laughing last night -- Jon Stewart did a great job, which I was relieved to see. I especially liked the "Good Night" and "Capote" bit. Both were about bold, truth-seeking journalism -- "Needless to say," he quipped, "both are period pieces."
Fraser: I thought the political-esque slander commercial shorts were hilarious, especially the one that was "Paid for by (random Sound Mixing nominee)'s Mom."
Hill: 'Twas witty indeed. But in sum: what, think ye, was the best award of the night?
Fraser: Oh, easy: Three 6 Mafia winning for "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp."
Hill: Correct. It spoke to my inner plight.
Fraser: The performances for Best Song were phenomenal in general. I'll be talking about those interpretive dances for years to come.
Hill: I'll be dancing those interpretative dances for years to come. They were damn sweet.
Fraser: Sigh. It was supposed to be the year of the Gay Oscars, but for "Brokeback," and for many a movie lover, it was all for naught.
Hill: I suppose. But maybe Hollywood, like Gov'na Ah-nuld, just doesn't want to be thought of as a bunch of girly men.
Fraser: Maybe you're right. Maybe they just should've had Arnold present the damn Best Picture award instead of happy-hour Jack.
Hill: "Best Pic-sha goes to 'Crash'! If you don't like it I don't cay-ya, it will receive the award enny-how!"
