I was walking along Mass Row last week, lost in thought, when the words "I hate Winter Carnival" bitterly invaded my pensive solitude. Why, I ask, is everyone so down on Winter Carnival? I've been complaining about how I have to take the LSATs the Saturday of Carnival and therefore cannot partake in the festivities, and all my friends comfort me by saying "It's just Carnival, it's not even that fun." And this, my friends, is where I beg to differ. I'm going to go out on a limb and call Winter Carnival the ultimate Dartmouth weekend.
Sure, Tubestock and Green Key are marked by (usually) incredible weather, and Homecoming has a really big fire -- but none of these weekends show the real Dartmouth. One of our defining features is that we're closer to the Arctic Circle than any other Ivy. Our frozen reputation is inescapable, but it is also what sets Dartmouth apart. Winter Carnival comes complete with all the staple parties that a big weekend should have -- multiple bands and dance parties etc., many of which traditionally recur each year like an old dog with new tricks, the faces and themes are familiar, but just when, where, and who you'll be with when you get blacked out remain a mystery.
However, the daytime hangout/rage, in addition to length, is what makes a big weekend just that -- big. The fun is not merely limited to dimly lit basements. The human dogsled race on Friday blends several essentials of Dartmouth life: snow, absurd costumes, occasional belligerent drunkenness, and a healthy spirit of competition. It is an event enjoyable for participant and observer alike. I really like when someone intentionally sets themselves at a disadvantage in the race for the sake of amusing those around them, for instance, by wearing flippers. Such selfless acts for the joy of one's peers bring a smile to my face and a tear to my eye.
The Occom Pond party is another surreal Winter Carnival favorite. I clearly remember last year's pond party as one of my greatest experiences at Dartmouth, as half the school slipped across the frozen pond, hurtled down the ice slide, and generally frolicked in the winter wonderland. It was just (warning: self-promotion) so Dartmouth. Being drunk and acting like a little kid are a killer combo.
Even the frats take advantage of the cold, with Theta Delt's death slide and Psi U's front-lawn skating rink -- where else is drunken ice skating a legitimate hazard? The cold lets us bond over how hard we are. (I refer to our ability to withstand subzero temperatures -- I don't mean to reinforce any deluded frat boy "hard guy" fantasies.)
I also think it's important to note that this is Dartmouth's only big weekend to boast an annual theme. From the DOC to KDE, themes and ridiculous costumes make each Dartmouth party different and exciting. However, it is only at Winter Carnival that we have (to draw on a past carnival theme) one theme to rule them all. For one weekend only, an entire school with disparate interests and activities is united by one common thread. And on the Green -- our Mecca, our playground, our common area of sorts- lies the physical manifestation of that thread: the snow sculpture. Towering and grand, this year's ship is a reminder of how big a weekend carnival really is, and how much work everyone is willing to put in to make it a success.
Your winter carnival experience will also be enhanced by remembering a few important safety tips. If you are a visitor -- a pariah looking to gain a brief re-entry to a term which has already set sail without you -- remember where you are staying: another thing that sets this big weekend apart is that it is probably the one where sleeping outside will most likely result in death. Don't overestimate the effectiveness of the liquid parka -- alcohol provides no defenses against frostbite. Also, keep in mind that many of the daytime events this weekend are in fact family affairs. Try to keep the f-bombs to a minimum as you stagger around small children, desperately trying to beat them to the front of the line for the igloo ice slide.
Winter Carnival is Dartmouth baring its soul -- a big weekend without the rare and exotic accoutrements of "good weather," rafts, sun, and fire. I envy all of you who have the privilege of enjoying this weekend in full. And if you're actually reading this (unlikely in light of its publication date), stop! Rally, kick your hangover, take a shot of espresso and go outside! Skate, ski, sled, make an ice luge -- whatever! Don't let Dartmouth's greatest weekend pass you by merely because you're bitter about being a little "cold."
