Axis of Evil leaders seem closer to achieving unity because of their common desire to support worldwide terror than at any time since their covert organization was exposed by President Bush in early 2002.
In a joint statement released yesterday, the foreign ministers of Iran and North Korea announced the First Axis of Evil Cooperation Summit to be held in Pyongyang, the North Korean capital, early next year. Iran's supreme leader Ayatollah Khomeini and North Korean ruler Kim Jong-Il both declared their intention to attend the summit in separate statements released yesterday.
"We hope to strengthen mutual ties to counter American influence, expand our elite organization to increase our sphere of influence and reaffirm our commitment to terror," Iraqi foreign minister Kamal Kharazi said during a press conference in Tehran earlier today.
Kharazi said that it was time for the organization to assess its place in the world and address economic issues in a global context.
Also present at the press conference, North Korean foreign minister Paek Nam-sun said the loss of Iraq has shown the leaders of the Axis that they need to expand.
"Saddam [Hussein]'s capture has left us without a source of biological and chemical weapons, cheap oil and mass terror techniques. We need to induct new members to ensure the continued success of the Axis," he said.
Nam-sum is on an official visit to Tehran to strengthen ties between the two nations.
High on the agenda of the meeting was the desire to establish an Axis of Evil Free Trade Association.
"It is absolutely essential that the members of the Axis are able to freely exchange our weapons of mass destruction and ballistic missiles. The world has for too long prevented us from this exchange," Kharazi said. "We have fought hard to have these restrictions abandoned and we will continue to fight to see this resolved in our favor."
When asked about possible United States intervention, Kharazi commented, "The U.S. is bogged down in Iraq. I am proud of Al-Qaida's success in drawing the United States into a quagmire. And, of course, John Kerry's victory in November will do wonders for us. We are in the process of contributing one hundred million dollars to his campaign to ensure that he wins."
Nam-sun had similar thoughts on the issue: "With combined economies of close to half a trillion dollars a year, we ought to be able to invade Seoul."
The Foreign Ministers' statement outlined a detailed plan to expand the group. Potential new members include Russia, Congo, Zimbabwe and Myanmar.
When asked if he would like to see more Islamic counties in the Axis, Mr. Kharazi said, "Well, I would like to see a few other Islamic countries on board, but the rest of them are [expletive]. Even Muammar [Gadhafi of Libya] has betrayed our trust -- that little piece of [expletive]."
The statement ended with a pledge to "prevail over the good world."
Meanwhile, Arab news network Al-Jazeera released a tape, purportedly of Osama bin Laden, in which the deceptive Al-Qaida head announced that he would write to the leaders of the Axis to request that his organization be admitted into the club.
"Look at our track record -- we have caused the deaths of over ten thousand innocent civilians. We have plundered, raped, killed, tortured and kidnapped, and we hate America," bin Laden said in his statement.
"If we are not admitted within the next three months, we will declare jihad on the Axis of Evil," bin Laden said, expressing his exasperation with the lack of recognition for his group's "evil" activities.
Dartmouth College Professor Marcus Johnson, an expert on the Axis of Evil, said that the United States must meet this new challenge as soon as possible.
The Axis of Evil has considerable clout among Central Asian and East African dictators and these "despots are very likely to provide outside support," Johnson predicted.
In other international news, a spokesman for the Arab Coalition for the Promotion of Terrorist Activities in the Palestine released a "statement of intent" in which it outlined its plans to promote terrorist activities in Israel and Palestine.
"We understand that the loss of Saddam Hussein, our erstwhile benefactor, is causing great monetary hardship for the families of terrorists in the Palestine. It is, therefore, our pleasure to offer $30,000 to the families of suicide bombers so that they can continue killing innocent civilians," an ACPTAP spokesman said.
