To the Editor:
I applaud the article, "Students talk inter-group dating," in the Jan. 31 issue of The Dartmouth, for its objective representation of the "crossing the line" discussion, held in Cutter-Shabazz. Yet the points brought to attention are somewhat representative of only one angle -- that of the students who individually choose to date within their own culture, religion or ethnicity. I believe that inter-group dating views have been unconsciously omitted from the article, since the topic of why people choose to date within their own "categories" was the dominant subject on the table. Nonetheless, there were good points brought up in light of inter-group dating and I believe that although they may not have been as extensively discussed, they still deserve to be represented.
I attended the discussion myself and I confess that what surprised me most was the overwhelming response of students who admitted that they were most likely to date and marry within their own "category." (Race, religion, culture and class were components of these "categories.") But what also surprised me was how many students in attendance were children of mixed marriages. I just want to emphasize that making a mixed relationship work is very possible, that people have dated and married outside of their race and religion even in times when such a union was considered illegal. The most encouraging highlight of the discussion, I believe, was when a Hindi woman and a Catholic gentleman announced that they were engaged. The announcement was met with warm applause and after hearing from so many students about how difficult it was to make an inter-group relationship work, I really felt a deep respect for the two.
Relationships will always come with sacrifices, no matter how homogeneous you and your partner may be. Some people are willing to give and take more than others and for important issues of race and religion it may not be a question of giving or taking at all. But in a world where people are constantly "looking for love," many are surprised when true love shows itself in the most unlikely of places -- in opposite races, in different faces.
