'Twas the Night Before Midterms

by Rob Valet | 2/7/01 6:00am

Monday was a test day for me, and after staying up much of the night and the morning, I decided to take my customary pre-exam nap. Thus it was that on Monday afternoon, Ma in her kerchief and I in my cap (actually just me, and no cap) had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out in the hallway there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the door I flew like a flash, tore open the doorknob and then in a flash, what to my wondering eyes should appear... but eight miniature freshmen all drinking some beer (just kidding third floor Streeter... it just happened to rhyme).

Actually I woke up when the radio went off, bringing me the fresh jams of the Upper Valley (I knew it was time to get up and turn off the radio when the announcer said, "And that was Phil Collins to lighten your evening, and up next we have some Michael Bolton for you ..."). At this point it was time to dash away, dash away, dash away, all ... the way across campus to go take my biochem test.

Unfortunately dashing was entirely out of the question, due to the two foot layer of snow covering everything. As someone who hails from Brockport, N.Y. ("the snow removal capital of the world") this was quite unacceptable to me. Where I am from, we plow the snow before it hits the ground. Plows drive around scraping dry asphalt, just in case snow was planning on settling in those roads at a future date.

Thus I was rather irked at having to hurdle through two-foot drifts on the sidewalks all the way to Gilman. I suppose I could have walked in the road, but just as Dartmouth hadn't cleared the sidewalks, Hanover hadn't bothered to plow the roads either. If you're going to continue working together on snow removal, Dartmouth and Hanover, remember there's no "snow" in "team."

At least I wasn't driving on I-89 ("the forgotten highway"). Last week I was coming back from the airport, and it was entirely clear all the way on I-93, but I-89 had about a foot of snow in both lanes. Actually I think they pushed the snow off of I-93 onto I-89. All I have to say, New Hampshire, is that it's time to seriously consider paying some taxes in order to put a few snowplows on the road. I guess around here we all Live Free until we slide off the road, hit a telephone pole, and do in fact Die.

This is assuming we can get our cars moving at all. Tonight I dragged two of my poor friends all the way to A-lot to retrieve my car for a West Leb trip. While the College had thoughtfully cleared the snow in the lanes in A-lot, it unfortunately deposited all of that snow into a four foot high drift against all of the cars. The Taurus struggled valiently, but four wheel drive is not one of its strong points.

Much wetter and more tired for our adventure, we gave up and hiked back to campus. I'm off to go nestle all snug in my bed. If I get woken up this time, I'll start cracking heads.