"It's been twenty long years, and the fire's still burning. The wax on the candle melts like tears, you know it don't come easy: the road of the gypsy."
Music has gone downhill lately. While some critics might have had place to say this at any point in musical history, I feel that today in particular it is true. The MTV generation's younger brothers and sisters are now listening to the bubble-gum antithesis of grunge and the 1980s rock that supplied our first Quiet Riot cassettes, which we played in our basements over and over again.
But that's not the problem. I'd be a fool to place Poison above 'N Sync. Poison would be 'N Sync if they came up now. And it would be ridiculous to somehow claim that B*Witched is any better than the 1910 Fruit Company or the Starland Vocal Band or whatever.
My point is that all music today is crap. Not just the stuff you watch on MTV or listen to on 99 Rock. All of it. And it's for one very simple reason -- not enough gypsies. When was the last time you heard a song about gypsies? It's been a while, I bet. The heyday of the gypsy song was reached with Cinderella's now classic "Gypsy Road."
Since 1990, however, the genre has virtually fallen off the map. Sure, you can still hear April Wine's "Sign of the Gypsy Queen" on the radio sometimes, but it's not the same. The reason that Britney Spears, the Backstreet Boys and yes, even the likes of Belle & Sebastian and Yo La Tengo (translated literally as "more mayonnaise, please"), suck is because they're not writing enough songs about gypsies.
Who could forget Adrenalin's classic anthem, "Road of the Gypsy," which was prominently featured in the movie "Iron Eagle"? Not me, that's for sure. Stretching back to the beginning of the century we can find songs about gypsies.
Mostly derisive or racist, such as the famous 1913 song "Race of Thieves," by George and Herbert McElroy, these early songs about gypsies sparked America's fascination with the much-maligned peoples of Eastern Europe.
This hatred soon became a curiosity and a passion for artists and listeners alike. Everyone from Louis Armstrong to Deep Purple had a song called "Gyspy." This practice was made law by the National Gypsy Reforms of 1936. President Roosevelt had this to say on the matter: "no American pastime is greater beloved than that of hearing our finest crooners opine about the be-gypsied peoples of the world. So it has been written, so it shall be done."
Deep Purple did the law justice not once but twice, with the hard rocking "A Gypsy's Kiss." So when LA Guns had a hit with "Electric Gypsy," it came as no surprise to the listening public. The most popular gypsy tune, however, was Santana's "Black Magic Woman/Gypsy Queen."
If America had any doubt about the staying power of the gypsy ballad, a little movie called "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" did away with it. That film featured the song "Dancing with A Gypsy," by Tora Tora, and the cycle was complete. This, unfortunately, was the last our country has really heard about gypsies in popular culture.
Now you know the history. But what about the future? It's been over ten years since we've heard a decent song about gypsies, or dealing with gypsy-related issues. Why has a practice that has borne so much fruit, to the delight of consumers and performers alike, been forsaken? I don't know. I only hope that one of the talented new groups coming up will rectify this egregious wrong done to our country. God bless America.
"You know it don't come easy: the road of the gypsy."
