Recently, I visited someone in North Hall. Until then, I had no idea that North Hall existed. For all I know, it didn't exist until the very moment that it came into my view, and once I left it, it slipped back into oblivion.
How long has North Hall been there? Has it stood forlorn behind Cutter-Shabazz ever since the day I first set foot on Hanover soil? You never hear about anything happening there. It never sponsors any events. "This concert was brought to you by North Hall"? Never gonna hear that. Nobody goes there. Nothing happens there. It's a non-entity.
And how many places are there like that on campus? Surprisingly, a lot. Because I am a generous boy, I will mention a few of them, so that maybe you will have a new place to visit the next time you tire of pong halls and dusty stacks.
If you are in the neighborhood of North Hall, surely you might be tempted to also visit Caf North. This is a small eatery in one of those big buildings up north, I forget which. (They're all the same anyway.) I have never been to Caf North when it has been open. In fact, I doubt that it ever opens. I suspect it is some kind of elaborate loophole for DDS people to profit from. The next time I visit Caf North, I will be on the lookout for shifty characters with cash-filled suitcases. Maybe it's even home to a body parts smuggling ring. It would be a perfect location, wouldn't it? After all, the medical school is right next door
Freshman year I lived in a little cluster known as Rip-Wood-Smith. I was in Woodward Hall. I know there are some of you out there who are unfamiliar with these residences; in fact, there are documented cases of some professors who have never even heard of the place. I can assure you that this cluster is well worth visiting if you have an affinity for hard tile floors and dimly lit, dank hallways. I am greatly saddened that the charm of this cluster is in the process of being dismantled by workers who are preparing Rip-Wood-Smith for its brand new distinction as the non-smoking section of campus. I think if the administration wanted to effectively combat the cancerous clouds covering this campus, they would have been well to start with Wheeler, my current home, which is residence to many slaves to tobacco. Since many of them seem to be '03s, my friend and colleague Jeff Vardaro has named them "shmokers."
I am sure that some of you have no idea that Sanborn, Carpenter, Baker, and (it is rumored) Rauner are all connected by underground tunnels. I have explored most of these with great thoroughness. One tunnel, the Carpenter-Baker special, features a secret section of the Orozco murals showing a man being tangled up in machinery, which the artist added after deciding that his depiction of oppression by The Man was incomplete without a picture of a guy attached to a corkscrew. This coupled with the pleasure of some automatic doors makes the tunnel a winner every time. Someday, like the archaeologists exploring the inner sanctums of the Pyramids of Giza, I will find the hidden tunnel to Rauner. I'm sure that I will be shot by the security guards upon emerging from the tunnel's mouth, but such is the danger that every great explorer faces. More passageways can be found underneath the Hop's innocent faade. The first time you go down the stairs near the Hinman boxes and eventually come out below Spaulding auditorium, you will be amazed. The second time, maybe not so much.
Finally, the last hidden place that I will reveal to you today is Reed Hall. Do you know where it is? Dartmouth Hall is flanked by Wentworth Hall on one side and Thornton Hall on the other, but poor Reed gets the shaft, being located unmemorably on the non-Dartmouth side of Thornton. "Dartmouth Row" is the name given to Wentworth, Dartmouth and Thornton Halls, but what does Reed get? Diddly-squat. I think we can all identify with Reed Hall at some point in our lives, when we feel forgotten, abandoned, utterly unimportant and inconsequential. Nobody remembers which one is Reed. So please. Leave a special place in your heart for Reed Hall.
