Here's a hypothetical situation: Every year great big boulders come falling out of the sky and land in an area about 100 square feet. Every year people come and watch because, hey, it's pretty cool when boulders just start falling out of the sky. Some people like to drink while watching the boulders; some people take their kids to see the boulders; some people video and take pictures of the boulders. Inevitably, every year, people suffer minor injuries. No surprise considering great big boulders are falling out of the sky. The odd part is, the local authorities do nothing to prevent these injuries. I mean nothing at all: no fences, no flyers, no posters, no rent-a-cops with bullhorns, no public service announcement nothing. My personal opinion is that the local authorities are being negligent.
I accuse the Dartmouth College Office of the Deans and the CFSC Judicial Committee of violation of the Dartmouth College Principle of Community and of Reckless Endangerment of numerous students, locals, and alumni for letting the keg jump occur this year (yeah, I know it's an old issue, but it's really just a segue). The keg jump happens every year, always in the same format, and wee little injuries occur every year. There was no reason to think that this year would be any different. In fact, Psi U announced it well in advance and advertised that it was going to be just like the 19 before it. So the College and the CFSC, by not taking action to either prevent this event or make it somehow safer, were both grossly negligent. I place them on mandatory triple secret probation until September of 2068, levy fines of a $4,000 drop in tuition, and will inspect Parkhurst exactly twice every day for any fire, alcohol, and/or fashion violations. I will be allowed unlimited access to any rooms in said building at any time, and fully expect that their grounds will be kept clean and respectable (that is to say none of those freaky little holes punched in the ground or green paint all over the dirt). The CFSC JC will be disbanded and, because I no longer recognize them, will not be allowed to meet. If they insist on meeting they must all have plastic surgery to alter their appearance so that I don't think it's the CFSC JC or they will be immediately removed from campus.
I screw up a lot. Most of the time it's because I lack the cojones to be straight up and honest with others, and instead try to weasel my way out of any responsibility for my actions or opinions. Other people do it a lot too. It's a deplorable quality and I'm doing my best to remedy it. I would like my college to do the same. If you really want to see the keg jump go, than say so. I might not agree with you, but you'll salvage the shred of trust and respect that I still have for you. No one respects backhanded conniving and very few people actually fall for it anyway. That goes for everything. If you don't care what students think about Berry Library, or the social scene, or admissions, or gender relations, or race relations, or faculty choices, or curriculum ... JUST SAY SO. That way, students can stop wasting time and effort responding to surveys, petitioning, and writing stupid editorials. Then the few times you DO actually want our opinions more than three people might respond. Quit blaming student apathy on some Generation X thing. We're apathetic because we've come to realize our opinions don't count until we have more money, or hold a real office (SA, obviously, does not count).
While I'm at it I'd like to accuse the Trustee steering committee and Student Life Initiative of an honor code violation for failing to properly cite Yale, Harvard, and the "bandwagon" in their vision for the future of Dartmouth. You get 20 lashings and are doomed to actually live on whatever campus you end up creating.
This weekend, as we've been reminded so many times, the trustees convene to make their SLI decision. We students have one last opportunity to vote (https://basement.dartmouth.edu/trusteesarefinks) and make our voices heard. I urge you all to vote. More importantly, the trustees have one last chance to prove they're listening.
