My clock read two fifteen in the morning, and yet I wasn't the least bit sleepy. On the contrary, I felt unbearably restless, and not the least bit anxious. Little more than a month was left until graduation, and here I was, falling prey to the same fears and doubts for which I had mocked others in years past. After all of my countless speeches and diatribes about the pleasure I would take in leaving Hanover, here I was with nothing short of fear in my stomach. My future lay before me, wide and unknown, and I was filled with deep angst.
It's certainly nothing to be ashamed of. After countless years spent in various institutions of learning, I have finally come to the point of departure. At the ripe age of twenty-two, I will soon be unleashed on the world to test my myself and my many skills and talents not as a scholar but as a practicing adult, a worker and citizen. All of my dreams and aspirations will soon come up against the realities of life. Life as I choose to pursue it: on my own terms, rather than a life regimented by a guiding institution's schedule. I will soon be a true American, an individual in a sea of individuals struggling and striving to achieve my own dreams.
These are great changes, and are accompanied by strong emotions. And to those who have suffered for my emotional outbursts and anxieties, I apologize. I am adjusting, and preparing for these changes as best I can. But nothing can totally prepare one for such a complete and total transformation. It is the difference between reading about Sartre's dizzying freedom of personal choice, and embracing it, living it. As a career student, it is a frightening prospect to fully accept responsibility for my life, both emotionally and fiscally, and I can understand very well those who choose to remain in school, to pursue academics as an end in itself. Graduate school, however, is not for me. Frightened or not, I choose to embrace my freedom, and choose my own way.
Yes, I do feel nostalgia for this school, and the many good, and bad, times I have had here. I will miss those colleagues of mine who will go where I will not, and do what I will not. Our time here as students is drawing to a close, and for this I do feel sense of sadness and loss. But I know that this next stage in our lives will be a greater adventure than we can possibly conceive. Adventures which only we, and the fates, can decide to embrace. Now is our time to seize this opportunity, indeed, the opportunity of a lifetime for which we have all trained so long and hard. Good luck to all.
