Microsoft Earnings Are Up 154 Percent

by Larry Gariepy | 10/22/98 5:00am

To the Editor:

I was completely shocked at seeing the headline "Microsoft earnings up 154 fold" in the Oct. 21 edition of The Dartmouth. I mean, after earning $660 million during this same quarter last year, that would mean they made $100 billion dollars last quarter alone! That, in turn, must mean that Microsoft pretty much runs the universe now. I was so frightened to learn this that I ran out into the hills to live out my days, determined to escape the oppressive domination of Microsoft that surely accompanies earning power of that magnitude. After living all alone in the woods (ok, that little cluster of trees next to the SAE house) for what seemed like hours, some friends came and found me and told me that Microsoft's earnings were up 154 percent, not 154 fold.

Upon hearing this revelation, I decided to use my primitive hunting skills (honed during the time I spent alone in the woods) to track down whichever math-illiterate person was responsible for this heinous error and chain them to a desk in my Math 5 class for the next six weeks. Better start runnin' ...