Over 90 students and faculty members attended a dinner discussion in Collis Common Ground about the differences and similarities between issues that affect homosexual and heterosexual people.
Guest speaker John Crane '69, one of the three co-founders of the Coalition for Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Concerns and the administrative director of the library, told the audience that since he was speaking as a gay man, his ideas would look at the issues through that lens.
Crane said the event was a good idea since he believes there are not many spaces for gay and heterosexual people to talk openly. He said sexual orientation was a very personal matter to discuss over dinner, but added, "What the hell, let's do it."
The difference between sexual orientation and gender identification, he explained, is sexual orientation involves an attraction to another person while sexual identification specifies a conceptualization of oneself as a male or female.
In discovering one's sexual orientation, he said it was necessary to think about one's personal sexual experiences, one's erotic fantasies, and "who you notice when you walk down the street." He explained a scale in sexual orientation, on which different gradations of heterosexuality and homosexuality exist.
Sexual orientation should then not be approached with the idea of "us against them," he said.
Crane said most people are probably not aware in some cases that they have homosexual friends or relatives. He spoke of the possibility of knowing one's sexual orientation early or only realizing an attraction to one gender in later years.
Coming out is a three-step process, Crane said. Most people tend to come out first to themselves, and then to family members and friends.
The process of coming out to friends and family holds certain risks, he said. To illustrate his point, he cited the example of a male friend whose parents had enrolled him in a hair-dressing school after their son had told them he was gay. Often, he said, families "go into the closet" once they know of a relative's sexual orientation.
People coming out also encounter difficulties in the form of religious or cultural barriers, Crane said. Public entertainment, and such shows as "Ellen," can send a powerful negative message about homosexuality, he added.
"Being out is the single most effective way to change social attitudes," he said.
Crane then raised several questions which concern people of both orientations, such as the appropriate use of certain language, homosexual displays of affection in public and whether it is acceptable to out others.
According to one societal code, he said, gay people can reveal a person's sexual orientation to other homosexuals, but not to heterosexuals. He asked the audience to consider whether this idea is true and whether it respects the privacy of a gay person.
Crane said the low number of openly gay people can be a problem, and many young homosexuals move to more urban areas to increase their chances of finding a partner.
The job search may be trying for some homosexuals, he said. Being out on a resume, by listing leadership positions in homosexual organizations, for example, might lead to fewer interviews. Heterosexuals may face similar difficulties with the items on their resumes.
To live is to explore how people's experiences are different or the same, Crane said, and he asked the audience to think about heterosexism, the assumption that everyone should be heterosexual, or "straight is normal."
Crane distributed "questions with no right answers" to spark ideas for the conversations at each table of seven students and one faculty member. Event attendees said they enjoyed Crane's speech and the discussions, and were pleased that such an event could be held.
Dartmouth today is very different from the Dartmouth Crane knew as student. Such an event would not have been possible, he said, as there were no openly out gay people.
"It's not easy today to be out, but many people realize that gay is part of normal," he said.
He said when gays and heterosexuals do have they chance to talk openly and share individual stories, they discover many similarities, as they face many of the same choices. Like religion or ethnicity, he said, homosexuality is a large factor in these choices.
Crane is also chair of the Berry Library Building Committee.
The dinner was sponsored by the Programming Board.
