I am a woman. That's right -- I wear a bra, can bear children and have plenty of estrogen running through my body. I don't need a jock strap, can't grow facial hair and will probably never go bald. And, if you couldn't already tell, I'm proud to be a woman and I express that pride often. But there is a time and place for everything.
There's nothing wrong with advocating women's issues and promoting women's rights. In fact, it has to be done. Even though gender discrimination is illegal, it not only occurs but is widespread. What many women do not seem to realize, however, is that we will not and cannot win complete gender equality alone.
We need the support of men, and many of our current tactics are not bringing men over to our side and making them see our point of view. If anything, certain directions that the feminist movement has been taking lately have had several men calling for a return to the days when women were barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.
I've been told that if you want to be heard, don't shout, whisper. No one wants to see a bunch of women running around screaming about how all men are lower than dirt and deserve to be shot. Unfortunately, most men already consider us to be overemotional, and displays like that will just give them a reason to continue thinking so. If we want to be taken seriously, we need to be serious.
Now, I realize that most women at Dartmouth are a bit too refined to stand in the middle of the Green ranting and raving about how horribly men have treated women. But I'm sure most of us have brought sexism into discussions where it simply didn't belong. I've caught myself doing it many times. But we're not doing anyone any good by declaring every person, practice and institution we can think of sexist.
Actually, by calling just about everything sexist, we are detracting attention away from truly sexist individuals or institutions. Pretty soon, most men and even a lot of women will begin to see sexism as a farce. You know what they say -- if you cry sexist too many times, when you really do encounter true sexism, no one will believe you.
Yes ladies, sexism is widespread, but not every man in the world is out to get you. Just because he may want to hang out with just the boys sometimes to watch football and drink beer does not mean he is sexist. By calling every guy we meet a sexist pig, we are alienating a lot of guys who could be women's rights advocates.
The fact is, there are inherent differences between the majority of men and the majority of women. We must respect these differences. For example, aren't there days when a group of women simply want to go shopping or do lunch without any of the guys? This is the same principle. Coming to terms with the differences between men and women is not abandoning the feminist movement at all. Women should not want to be exactly like men or exactly like each other, for that matter. We must simply realize that while we are all different, we all deserve completely equal opportunities.
The final thing that women must do in order to win the support of men and thus win true equality is put an end to our hypocrisy. Women on this campus have actually told me that sexism is a one-way deal, that it is impossible for women discriminating against men solely on the basis of gender to be construed as sexism.
Well, ladies, we complain about male double standards, like how it's perfectly fine for a man to have a job and family, but women are often looked down upon for wanting careers outside of the home. Yet by setting up a double standard of our own, we are no better than the men we claim to be fighting.
As cheesy as it sounds, we are all just people. Some of us differ in our interests, home towns, race, religion and ethnicity. And yes, some of us differ by gender. We must acknowledge this difference, respect it and, finally, look beyond it. But we cannot get people to look beyond gender by shouting or by setting double standards. We cannot force people to take off their sunglasses and see the light of equality. We have to make them want to.
