"It's not you. It's me." I said.
I understand. I've been feeling the tension between the two of us, too. Maybe we're just not right for each other."
"We're two completely different people. I just need some space, you know?"
"Yeah, I think a separation will be good for us."
"Its the end of the term. We have all winter break to think things over. But I think when we get back we should just go our own ways."
"I am so glad you feel this way, too. We're still friends, right?"
"Of course."
Last Winter term came upon us, and our minds were made up. We put our names on the Singles List.
The first week was the hardest. First off all, there was the moving process. Possessions were going to have to be divided. Someone was going to have to buy a new phone; another was going to have to find a new stereo. Large boxes were going to have to be carried from one end of campus to the other. Yet, deep down, we knew that it was all for the best.
It took a while to adjust to living alone. I couldn't burst in through the door, exclaiming, "You'll never believe who I bumped into on my way home!" There was no one to ask, "What's so funny?" whenever I laughed out loud while reading a blitz or a particularly amusing passage in my Taoism assignment (and believe me, there are many). I went through all the mandatory, beginning stages, like searching for friends to fill the void, and keeping myself busy throughout the day, just in order to prolong coming home to a large, dark and lonely Single.
Soon, I began to appreciate my quiet, alone time. I discovered that I liked having the alarm going off seven times in the morning before I was really ready to get out of bed and shut it off. There is no loud clacking at the computer at 3 a.m. when I am trying to go to sleep. And I can play my loud, annoying techno music as often as I like.
My ex (roommate, that is) and I still get along well. We do all our catching up during our regularly scheduled jogs (and for those who aren't athletes, being able to hold a deep, meaningful conversation is a sure sign that you are running at exactly the right pace). We have come to terms with the fact that it takes a certain a type of person to be a Roommate. We aren't bad people. We aren't selfish and inconsiderate. Living with another person is sort of like raising one eyebrow or wiggling your ears. Some people have the ability to do it and some people don't.
This is not a means to refute the stereotypes associated with room types. Its not like people describe a person according to their living accommodations, "She's a Kappa, he's a football player, and that girl over there lives in a single." I don't get much of reaction when I say I live alone. Yet I dread the conversation that ensues when I explain that I am not part of the Greek system. "Really? Why?"
I used to be under the impression that college was a smorgasbord of life lessons, that all the little conflicts I overcame at Dartmouth would somehow lead to my personal growth. I assumed that being forced to live with another person in a room the size of broom closet would teach me respect and the art of compromise. So, by failing Roommates 101, did that mean that I was I not taking advantage of what college was trying to teach me? Maybe I don't belong in an institution of higher learning. Maybe I would be better off growing coffee beans in Brazil in my own little shanty.
According to the philosophers of ancient China, by the time you have reached the age to think about bettering yourself, sociological and genetic factors have already determined who you are. I am not suggesting that I am already as good as I can get, so I can stop trying to improve myself. I've just decided that I didn't come to college to change me, but rather to learn more about me. Why bother with applications if a college just wants to mold you into someone else by the time you graduate anyway?
I didn't fail at being a roommate. I succeeded in learning about who I am. I am the type of person who needs privacy and my own space. I am glad I discovered this so soon. To think I could have spent my entire life really believing that I need to learn to live with other people in order to be a superior being.
And all this knowledge I acquired by simply spending a term in the Choates.
