I started my Tuesday morning fresh with column ideas, all of which seemed to vanish the moment I picked up The Dartmouth and read through Justin Carrino's comment on "Love, Dartmouth Style" [July 1, 1997]. (Let's face it: he's right about the preponderance of talk about love and romance among college students.) I, too, see the "common-law marriages" and the one-night stands taking place. Appalled by the idea that romance doesn't exist on the Hanover plain, I want to abandon my usual wacky prose, get serious for a moment and take it upon myself to help all of you "simple creatures" attract the wonderful, driven women we see around us every day on this campus -- so here are my patented, guaranteed-success Five Steps to better romance (to be taken with a grain of salt):
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Get to Know the "Other Species." How might any eligible bachelor succeed in the chase without doing a bit of background research? Truth be known, I doubt that the men of Dartmouth today are really only interested in sex, beer, and sports; we all have diverse interests, some that might even overlap with the stereotypical interests of the opposite sex. Step one is to break down the sex barrier and befriend some Dartmouth students along platonic lines, or at least strengthen those opposite-sex friendships that you might already have. Having friends of the opposite sex can help give you an extra edge in understanding the "other" psyche. However, guys, you might want to be careful about spending too much time with your newfound female compatriots. A good friend of mine has a rule of thumb, a mathematical truth that will help you preserve your image: when a guy is the single male member of a group seen in public, the number of females in the group is inversely proportional to the male's eligibility. Simple Darwinism, folks.
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Do Your Homework. Okay, so you've befriended someone that you think is "The One." It is now up to you to find out about that person's quirks and habits, as well as any peculiar tastes you might want to know about. This way, you can enrich the value of the little things you might do for him or her. "Joe," after having gotten burned repeatedly, asks, "Why is it that girls don't like flowers?" Sometimes they seem too old-hat -- just the reason to try pleasing that someone in some other arena. For example, let's say that "Joe" learns that "Sue" is addicted to a certain soft drink, like Fresca. "Joe" could then use this knowledge to surprise "Sue" with a crate of the bubbly stuff and attach a friendly note. It sounds odd, but "Sue" will remember exactly what it was he did, and probably even save the note. Generally, the more you can learn about someone, the more exciting you can make small surprises. And know that little things do count.
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Be Spontaneous. The best way to kill romance is to say to your partner (or potential partner) that you have too much work to do, or that you can't spend time with them because you have schoolwork. Part of the magic of romance is that it comes when it is least expected. Going out for a quick dip in the river or a few minute's visit to the ropeswing at sunset can be refreshing, and it can help you stay awake while the two of you then study and do your work together as you dry off afterwards (wink, wink).
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Explore Your Options. Believe me, there is much more to romance in the Upper Valley than some restaurant in Queechee. Your romantic experience is bounded only by your own creativity. There is much to be taken advantage of in Hanover's great outdoors, especially in the summer: a picnic in Nathan's Garden; an afternoon in a canoe; a swim at Storrs Pond; a night of stargazing in the Bema; or perhaps my personal favorite, a night spent on the Hanover Country Club Golf Course (that's right folks, bring a sleeping bag!) It could be simple, such as cooking dinner for that lovely girl (no matter how badly you might burn it) or going to play tennis; it could be elaborate and involve some traveling, such as a plan to have a getaway weekend at a bed-and-breakfast, or a trip to Boston or New York to see a show or concert together.
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Be Honest. Don't skirt the issue of your attraction. Just confront it and tell the person at the right moment. Honesty is something that many people today believe is disappearing from our increasingly plastic society. Make yourself stand out.
I hope that some of these suggestions help. My last little plug would be to talk to your grandparents. Sounds strange, doesn't it? Romance is a phenomenon that our culture perceives as timeless; there's a secret soft spot in us all for something old-fashioned. So try and pick up a few pointers from Grandma or Grandpa -- you're here reading this, so they must have done something right! Remember, it's only your own fault if your relationship comes up shallow. Don't view your experience as a fight -- a battle between sexes that don't understand one another -- but as two people that mutually come together for something unified and meaningful. Good luck. L'amour is in the air.
