To the Editor:
Relationship and sex. These two words do not mean the same thing in my vocabulary, but I am waking up to the fact that they may to other people. A few nights a go, I was telephoned by a writer from the Dartmouth who asked me if either my roommate or I had a relationship with someone while we were at school, and if so, if this caused any problems. Turning down the radio, I asked her to repeat what she said. She answered that she wanted to know if roommates and relationships caused any problems.
I told her that my roommate and I had no problems caused by my roommate's relationship. Then she asked if any uncomfortable circumstance ever arose because of this relationship. I could only think of one awkward situation, which I explained to her. One night I had come home unexpectedly and found my roommate and her boyfriend in our room. The couple was on the bed, but not "sprawled" on it. And if anyone has every lived in a small one-room double, you realize very quickly that the bed is one of the only comfortable places to sit. I then continued with my story saying that they were not doing anything. Unfortunately I did not specify this enough.
After I read the article in the May 7th issue of The Dartmouth entitled "Dorm Sex: Three's a Crowd," I was shocked to see my story placed right after that title. The placement of my story immediately after such an eye-catching (and rather explicit title) makes it seem like my roommate and her boyfriend were having sex or were involved in some sexual acts when I walked into the room. This could not be farther from the truth. They were not involved in anything sexual or physical, unless holding hands or hugging counts.
I see both The Dartmouth and myself responsible for such a confusing and misleading story. I think the article could have been written without such thought-provoking phrases as "sprawled on the bed" and "more than she bargained for." These phrases send such negative connotations. Also, I believe that the title of the article could have been made to reflect the questions that were asked over the phone. Not once was sex mentioned in my telephone interview with the writer.
I also blame myself for such a misunderstanding. In my naive mind, when I was asked about relationships, I did not equate this with sex. I thought this article was going to be about the want and need for privacy and understanding when living with a roommate in a relationship. I guess I should have explained myself more explicitly. The situation was not awkward because I walked in on them while they were doing anything sexually. The situation was awkward for me because my roommate and her boyfriend had only recently started dating seriously. It was also awkward because they were looking for some privacy and I interrupted that privacy. And just to avoid further confusion, when I say privacy I do not mean to conjure up any sexual connotations. I am referring to the privacy that everyone wants once in a while -- the privacy to have a personal conversation, the privacy to spend time alone with someone, the privacy that allows you to get away from everything else.
