To the Editor:
It is with great indignation that I read inaccurate depictions of the Koala (Phascolarctos cinereus) in both Randall Poulin's esteemed Weekend Update(TM) and Bradford Davis' wise letter to these pages. ["What About the Koala Bear?", Jan. 27, The Dartmouth.] As an Australian I feel obliged to set the record straight:
The very-uncuddly koala is not a bear. There is no greater insult to the mighty marsupial than to be called a "koala bear."
The koala does not eat "bush" -- only the leaves of certain eucalyptus trees will do.
The koala might not visit prostitutes, however promiscuity is a problem. It is partly due to chlamydia -- a sexually transmitted disease -- that koalas are an endangered species.
The "original" joke is about a wombat, and ends with: "The wombat eats roots and leaves." This dietary description is more accurate, and the joke retains its humour since "root" and "copulate" are synonyms in Australian lingo. (Advice to American travelers to the land "down under," never tell anyone that you'll be "rooting" for them ...)
Now if the Dartmouth community were familiar with "strine" (the Australian dialect) and "strine kulcha" perhaps Poulin might have printed a version of the joke that would not have upset Michelle Kraemer. ["Weekend Update: Just a Joke?", Jan. 23, The Dartmouth.] And Davis might have saved a few well-intentioned words.
Due to the harsh treatment of Australian culture in this community I will be campaigning for a Dean of Australian Students.
