"Planning your escape?" asked Mikey.
We were in a dark club in Cambridge, and I had been standing in one place, eyes fixed on the door, for 15 minutes.
"Huh? No, I'm waiting for Regina."
"Why? You don't want to talk to us anymore?"
"I have to go to the bathroom."
They all started to laugh. I was standing amid four men. One, Mikey, was a friend, and I had just met the rest of them.
"What is it with you people?"
"What people?"
"You women. Why do you always go to the bathroom in groups?"
"If you must know, in this case it's because there are no locks on the stalls, and I need someone to stand guard."
"I'll stand guard," offered a guy named Dennis.
Sweet offer though it was, I didn't think it was appropriate, and since Regina didn't get there for another hour and a half, I did have to visit the grungy ladies' room by myself. But the whole conversation got me thinking.
For me, the whole "visiting the ladies room" thing started around the same time as my friends and I started dating. The bathroom was a haven for us to discuss our dates without their overhearing. I remember a picture in my high school yearbook. It was taken at the Winter Semiformal and featured my boyfriend and four of my friends' dates standing by themselves looking bored and uncomfortable. We women were in the bathroom, of course.
My mom does it too; when she came up a few weekends ago one of the first things she said was "I have to visit the ladies' room. Come on, Laura." I have to admit I was a bit confused by this. Was she taking me to the bathroom to gossip about my dad? She didn't, so I guess it's just become a habit with her.
But that's perfectly all right, and I wouldn't even think of writing about it if I didn't have a rather traumatic experience in the bathroom last week. I was in the ladies' room in a friend's dorm, standing at the sink washing my hands when this woman walked in the bathroom. She was talking on a cordless phone, which I thought this was a little strange. Then the woman, still gabbing away, went into the stall and shut the door and I thought it was way beyond a little strange. I did stop listening at this point, but I assume that she continued talking while going about the rest of her business, so to speak.
It was kind of funny, but made a serious statement. She dropped the phone once (on the floor thank God) and I thought briefly of the hassle the whole situation presented. Was the topic of conversation so important that it couldn't be interrupted for 5 minutes so that the woman could take care of her bodily functions in relative privacy? Was she so used to saying "OK, I'm going to the bathroom, who's coming?" that even when there was no one around she had to call someone for company? Kind of a ridiculous thought, but on this campus anything's possible.
Thanks to blitzmail, we can be in communication with each other at all times. And when was the last time you saw someone eating alone at a dining facility on campus? And don't count someone with a big pile of books and an overworked expression, that's cheating. Most likely, you haven't seen it too often lately, and if you have, you wondered if the person was in a hurry or if he or she just didn't have any friends.
I think a lot of people here are lonely. We complain loud and often about the lack of dating here, so maybe our response to this lack of social options (besides the whole hooking up thing, which I'm not going to get into) is a fear of being left alone. Then again, maybe I'm reading too far into this. I enjoy being with and talking to my friends, and I'm sure that people at UMass, Colby, Boston College and maybe even Harvard do too. It's hard to analyze a situation when you're so close to it not to mention when the only other experience you have is with a tiny all-female Catholic school where everyone wears green plaid skirts everyday.
And maybe that situation with the woman talking on the cordless phone in the bathroom was just an anomaly. Let's hope so, and while we're at it let's hope she doesn't get a powerbook with an extension cord.
