Few Dartmouth and college traditions are introduced to freshmen as quickly as the unavoidable ritual of pressing the flesh. During the first week a kind of 'meet and greet' mania grips the entering class, and in the ensuing melee one of the first casualties is the name of the person who has just introduced himself or herself.
Prior to our DOC trips, the freshman class went through that session of ice breakers. The most notable activity started with the instructions "Meet as many people as you can in the next two minutes." A few people stood and chatted, but most, like myself, ran about in a frenzy repeating our names to every new face we encountered.
By the time I joined the circle and had my hands on the rope, I realized that I didn't remember a single name that had been shouted at me. My time would have been better spent talking to a couple of people, getting to know them, and actually learning a name.
One good thing, however, was that I wasn't alone. No one knew anyone else's name by the end of it. For those of us with a terrible memory (myself included prominently on this list), it was nice to be secure in the fact that everyone else was just as clueless.
I wasn't so lucky dealing with actual introductions. I would make someone's acquaintance, and then our paths part. Unfortunately when we would chance to meet again, the name was gone.
Not a trace.
Some of my hallmates have tried guessing with some success. If it's a guy, put your money on Ben or Matt. For girls, Katie and Jen are generally a good pick. I never even have the first letter going for me, so guessing is out of the question. Instead I simply stumble along in the conversation, hoping that the person won't actually confront me with the fact that I have no idea who I am talking to.
That situation has not yet happened to me, though my roommate managed to have a double confrontation with one person:
Greetings were exchanged and a little chatting ensued. He was all the while thinking, "Who is this person and why are we discussing whether or not the walk from the Choates to civilization is farther than the walk from the River?"
She, noticing that he was trying desperately to think of her name, said straight out, "You don't know who I am, do you?"
He burst forth in apology and excuses, and she proceeded to inform him of her name.
As she did so however, someone walked by and shouted, "Hey Aaron!"
So my roommate was forced to return to the game of pretending he knew who he was talking to, only to have her confront him again before they went their separate ways.
I find that this embarrassment can be avoided fairly easily. A person says hi to you. One of those 'I-know-you-and-you-had-better-know-me' type of greetings.
A hi is expected in return with a name sitting after it. But no name comes out. Just a feeble hi floating there in space while you rediscover just how interesting your shoes are.
Instead of this uncomfortable gap, simply make a nice segue into 'How are you?' Practice making 'Hey-how-are-you?' one word. Any other conversation space-filler will also do. That is simply the one that works best for me.
Then both people are happy until the next encounter, and by that time someone else will know the name, or all that Green Book studying will have paid off.
