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The Dartmouth
July 15, 2025 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

A Tribute to Amy

On December 30, 1995, Dartmouth lost one of its brightest alumni, and I lost my best friend, Amy Naparstek '95.

Amy called me from Montreal early that Saturday morning so that we could arrange a time to meet later that day. We hadn't seen each other for about a month and were psyched to get together for some dinner and conversation. We decided to meet at Dartmouth since I was on my way to Stowe and she was on her way back home to Boston. We chatted briefly and agreed to meet at 5:30 p.m. at the Hanover Inn. I made it to Hanover at 5:30, but Amy never did.

After the accident, it was hard for people to get correct information about what had happened. Details are still a bit sketchy, but here are the facts that I've been able to get from Amy's parents. The accident occurred an hour or so outside of Montreal, around 4:30 p.m. The crash involved two cars, not one as previously reported in The Dartmouth. The two women in the other car were both critically injured as a result of the crash. The police have not been able to figure out exactly how and why the accident occurred, but they think that the other car, which was ahead of Amy in the left lane, skidded on some ice and ended up in her lane. While it takes only three or four sentences to summarize the facts of the accident, it takes far more to express its effect on those who were close to Amy.

Losing Amy was the hardest thing that I've had to go through in my 23 years. Nothing can truly prepare you for a death, but when death comes so suddenly, so unexpectedly, and to someone so young, it becomes much harder to rationalize and comprehend. The constant thoughts of what "could have been" and what she "could have become" have broken my heart. With Amy I shared the truest, most special friendship that I've ever known. She was all of those things a best friend should be, but she was also so much more. There was a depth of understanding to our relationship that is indescribable, and from that depth grew a bond as close as, if not closer than, the one I share with my own twin sister. She had a bright and sunny outlook on life and was always able to find something positive in even the most difficult situations. When I look at pictures of her now, I see a glow about her that I always knew was there but that I never came to truly appreciate when she was with us.

If there is anything that comforts her friends and family, it is the realization that Amy truly "lived." She wasn't satisfied with sitting back and letting life pass her by. She really was one of those people who went out and changed things; she made things happen. Deb Volland '95 put it best when she said that Amy was "complete" when she died. She didn't have a list of things that she thought she might do someday. If she hadn't done something already, you could be certain that she was already making plans to tackle that too. Amy always found ways to experience the best of life.

If you were to look at all of Amy's accomplishments on paper, she'd seem too good to be true, and I guess in some ways she was. Amy was fascinated with languages and through her efforts and persistence started the Linguistics major at Dartmouth. She was also very involved in the Tucker Foundation, helping to organize the Special Friends program and devoting much of her time senior year to visiting with elderly people in the Upper Valley. Amy not only took an active role in Dartmouth community service, but she also influenced Dartmouth's future through her job as a senior interviewer. It was just like Amy to try to make one last contribution to the school, even though she might not get to see and appreciate the fruits of her efforts. I guess the best way to understand the kind of person Amy was is to tell you about a loss that she endured and what she did as a result of that loss.

Our senior fall, one of Amy's best friends from her Jewish youth group died in a freak accident. She took time to grieve and deal with his death, but then she started making plans. She decided to set up an endowed scholarship in his name through her youth group. In fact, she organized a benefit this past fall in Boston to raise money for it. Keep in mind that during this time, Amy had a 9-5 job doing psychology research at Harvard and also managed to find time to work with MS patients through AmeriCorps. I remember asking her how she was able to take on so much when she had so much going on; she answered, "You find ways to do what needs to be done."

Amy loved Dartmouth and could never quite accept the fact that our Dartmouth experience was really over. I hope that even if you didn't know Amy personally, you can learn something from the example she set. I know that I can never be all that she was, but if I can do one good thing in her memory, I know that she will live on in my heart as well as in the hearts of others. I not only want the Dartmouth community to know what they've lost, but I want them to appreciate all that Amy gave.