In an emotional service filled with both laughter and tears, the College community yesterday celebrated and remembered Sarah Devens '96, who died this summer at the age of 21.
Approximately 350 people, including family members, friends, teammates, coaches, College administrators and faculty and even casual acquaintances, filled Rollins Chapel to share prayers for and memories of Devens.
College Chaplain Gwendolyn King, who led the service, said "Sarah, or Devil, as she was known affectionately around here, was a feisty member of the Class of 1996," in her opening reflections.
"Today we want to thank God for her and to pay tribute for her life among us," she said. "Sarah was an extraordinary human being who gave of herself. Stick in hand, bandana on head, and 15 on her jersey, we marveled at her athletic ability."
Devens, a three-sport varsity athlete at the College, died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest at her home in Essex, Mass. in July.
Charles Devens, Sarah's father, remembered Sarah as a gifted athlete and a disciplined student who was consumed by a desire to succeed.
Sarah "set standards for herself both on and off the field," he said. "She often took too much responsibility and personal blame for games that were lost."
"Sarah is not here perhaps because she feared she would fail her own expectations of herself," he said. "She was a great athlete who lived in the shadow of insecurity, fear of failure, and most of all, exhaustion from competition."
"No one could tell her to stop or slow down," Charles Devens said. "She certainly had a hell of a run. What she accomplished will live forever."
In written remembrances that were read aloud, those who knew Devens painted a picture of a talented, strong woman with a zest for life, and all agreed that their lives would never be the same without her.
Lauren Demski '96, a teammate of Devens on the lacrosse and field hockey teams, read a poem written by a sportswriter in the 1920s that she said applied to Devens.
Choking back tears, Demski read the first line of the poem, "There is so little anyone can write when one leaves a void so great."
Kate Shanahan '96, another close friend of Devens, also read a poem, and said Devens "embodied life like no one I've ever known before."
Shanahan said, in passing, Devens has become "part of something entire, something whole. It comforts me that Devil has been dissolved ... into something so immense we will never know its power, but one day, all of us will share it with her."
Associate Director of Athletics Josie Harper spoke about getting past the pain of a loss.
"A loss in life or a loss in a game shows us life is not fair," she said. "Life challenges us; it forces us to grow."
"We were all touched and our lives enriched by knowing Sarah. That is how Sarah should be remembered, not by the tragedy of her death."
Education Professor Andrew Garrod remembered Devens as "the sort of student whose name a teacher learns in the very first class."
Erin Rath '98, Devens' teammate on the ice hockey team for one year, recalled a road trip to Princeton University when Devens started a conversation with the driver of a nearby tractor trailer over the CB radio.
The two got into a dirty joke contest, Rath recalled with laughter, and then Devens invited the trucker to have dinner with the team.
"She left her mark on every teammate, classmate or truck driver she ever met," Rath said.
Kathleen Hickey '96, a friend and field hockey teammate of Devens for three years, said she remembers and sees Devens in many ways, but especially her smile.
"When someone gives me their biggest, brightest smile, I see her," Hickey said.
Maura Schneider '96, Devens' freshman-year roommate and lacrosse teammate, remembered how the two hit it off during a lacrosse camp the summer before their freshman year.
"We built a very special relationship, most of it filled with laughter," Schneider said. "She had a way of making each person in her life feel special ... it comforts me in knowing Sarah will always be my friend."
Scott Dolesh '96, who dated Devens for the last two years, remembered the times he shared with her.
"Sarah and I had good times and bad times. Right now, I can only remember the good times," he said. "To me she was a teacher, a friend, an inspiration and someone I will never forget."
After the formal service ended, the congregation gathered on the center of the Green and released white balloons into the sky in memory of Devens.
