What's a Green Key?That's what my mother said when I told her I was writing for the special Green Key Weekend issue of The Dartmouth.
Of course, when she first said it I responded with something to the effect of "What are you TALKING about!?" because for some reason that pre-teen, infantile impatience still pops out every so often when I speak to the adults who gave birth to me or conceived me.
Besides, you can't just admit that you have no clue what Green Key is when you are writing an article on it, especially to a parent who has unwittingly pointed this out.
So it wasn't until I got off the phone with Mom that I began to contemplate the idea of what Green Key Weekend is. Since I am still a freshman, my first stop was where my first stop always is when I need information: my UGA's room. I ventured to Laura's room with the ingenuousness of a small child who thinks a parent can fix anything. No matter what the question is, I am sure she will know the answer, in loco parentis. "You're not allowed to quote me hon, I'm a UGA," Laura smiled, effectively sidestepping the question. This avenue of inquiry summarily blockaded, I began an extensive journey to discover the True Meaning of Green Key Weekend.
Many ofthe people I asked responded to the question, "What is Green Key Weekend?" with "I think it's next week," or "Isn't it next week?" or "Next week, I think ..." After the umpteenth time I concluded that either all of Dartmouth was deaf, or I had more of a Long Island accent than I had thought. I began to enunciate more clearly.
I then started approaching friends with my pad and pen behind my back."What's Green Key Weekend?" I would ask. Then I would whip out my pad and quickly jot down what they had said as the horror of being "on record" slowly dawned on them.
"I guess they have, like, a lot of booths out on the Green," a good friend theorized, right before she began to beg me to "Puhlease!" leave out the "like" if I quoted her. This turned out to be one of the more informative comments that I collected. At least now I knew there might be booths, although what would be in them was still anybody's guess. And Anybody wasn't helping me figure it out. "There's like a history behind it, right?" a '97 asked me.
The end of my odyssey found me safely returned to Port Gile, none the more informed. I still don't know what Green Key Weekend is. I don't even know what a Green Key is, although I'm sure it isn't something phosphorescent and pulsating that you would use to open a lock in the Emerald City. Surely it must unlock some magical door, so maybe I want one. Can I have one? Can anybody?
In the meantime, if anyone has an idea what this weekend is for, please explain it to me. My parents probably won't be calling until Sunday, so I have a few days to memorize the story.
