SexualAssault Awareness Week stands out as a significant time in my mind when many women come together on campus over an issue that affects us all. I find it particularly ironic this year, that I see the hypocrisy in the coming together of these women. They come out to support each other and other women who are the victims of sexual harassment and assault, yet at any other time in the year I see very few coming together to support other women who are the recipients of sexism. I mean in no way to detract from the importance of this week, but find it an appropriate time to question the behavior of some of the women of Dartmouth.
Sexism is much more implicit and covert now than it was 20 years ago. Then, the pinching of a woman's butt was a physical act that constituted harassment, and yet today the harassment may often take its effect in more psychological, emotional realms. Interestingly, in domestically violent situations of psychological and emotional abuse, we have no problem admitting and acknowledging that something wrong is occurring. And yet in the case of other forms of sexism, we back off and demand more "physical" proof of abuse. It is a dangerous analogy, and in no way do I mean to diminish the significance of domestic violence. But is it not a manifestation of sexism? Why say that sexism is different because it occurs in the home rather than in the office or classroom?
Carrying this dangerous analogy one step further, hopefully not at the expense of offending, why is it that we women often cannot understand why other women stay in domestically violent relationships, yet we expect women to remain in sexist situations, often at the expense of their emotional and psychological health?
There are two lessons to be learned here. The first is that of learned helplessness. This reason is often cited as an explanation for women staying in situations of domestic violence. I would argue that the women of Dartmouth are caught in this trap. Are not many women afraid of calling a situation sexist, or a man sexist, or a professor sexist or a woman sexist? Is there not learned helplessness when we internalize the problem to be our own, making us unable to correct the situation because we are dysfunctional or because we should change?
The second lesson is that we do not support each other in these situations and accept a woman's word as valid. Would you question a woman's word if she told you she had been emotionally and psychologically abused in a domestic situation? No. Then why question a woman's word when she tells you that her organization is sexist and that to remain a part of it allows the abuse to continue? Why is there questioning and not support?
Turning to a discussion of methodologies to fight sexism, I find it particularly disturbing that so many women still believe and follow the methodologies used to combat sexism in the 1970s at Dartmouth. They have served their purpose, and as sexism has mutated, so must our methodologies adapt. To paraphrase: "If women had come to Dartmouth and decided not to stay, where would we be today?"
So the thinking is that although a situation might cost you dearly in personal health, remain in it because it will be better for the women that come after you. And why should it be better? If women do not stand up and say that there are unacceptable situations, why should things change? Simply because women are present? Why not adopt a new way of addressing these issues?
To stay and be abused is no longer the wisest choice. We have to demand better treatment and find new ways to fight for gender equity. I don't know the best methodology, but it seems to me that our time would be better spent learning new ways than criticizing women who dare to stand up and say something is wrong or remaining in painful situations.
The theme of this week's activities is Speaking Up, Speaking Out. So for one week women will come together to speak out against sexism and sexual assault. What I'm asking of you, women of Dartmouth, is to not be hypocritical. Speak up now, but also speak out later.
