The administrators of Dartmouth undoubtedly want to improve the Big Green's academic reputation. In fact, the Class of 1998 has seen the unveiling of a new academic program that requires a more diverse array of liberal arts courses as well as a culminating experience before graduation.
Part of this intellectual grooming includes a plan that will list the median grade given in a course next to the grade students receive. This system will permit outside sources (grad schools/ potential employers) to judge students based on their true academic performance by taking into account grade inflation. The Registrar, in its infinite wisdom, is even kind enough to list median grades on Public.
In the past few weeks, I've given more and more thought to this plan to move Dartmouth higher than number 16 on the U.S. News and World Report academic reputation scale.
After much introspection, here's my distorted angle on our Administration's new policies for us cello-playing, mathematical riddle-solving, Catullus-translating Generation X'ers.
To me, the plan seems as foolproof as its full-force effort to turn Mass Row into a strictly pedestrian walkway--I guess one day they'll put the middle cement barrier back so cars can't pass and park at will, but probably not.
Actually, the plan seems more intrinsically efficient than the lighting in our campus dormitories. The two 10 watt bulbs that hang overhead in my room provide me with sufficient light on a daily basis. No wonder why I need glasses for the first time in 21 years!
By the way, with the money the First Year Committee plans on spending on new freshman dorms, how about getting some new overhead lights. Living in a dark,125 degree room (thanks to the overblown heating system) makes me want to do only one thing -- sleep. Some days I can't even get enough energy to order EBA's, fill up my Dartlaundry bag, answer my BlitzMail or incinerate my stack of Student Assembly Course Guides.
But let's get back to the College's forward-looking decision to list the median grades of courses on students' transcripts and on Public. Well, in the new spirit of intellectual advancement and improved administration-student relations, I can honestly say that the Registrar is finally answering the number one question posed by distributive-requirement-seeking underclassmen. "Anybody got a 'gut' for fall, winter or spring term?"
As we all are aware, there are many courses which require only a moderate amount of work. Even in these classes, though, you are not guaranteed that long-sought after A.
However, with this newfangled "Plan of a Kindler Gentler Administration" you can now, in seconds, click onto Public and find that previously elusive A you've always wanted in the Humanities. How about Music 1 or 7? Maybe Drama 31 or 36 or 31. Maybe you want a language course. How about Spanish 1?
Maybe you're taking two major-level courses and you're in desperate need of a science gut. Don't just sit there; your new CD-ROM, music-playing, grammar-checking, psychological counseling Macintosh has enough memory to open up Public without even shutting down BlitzMail. Download the Median Grade file under the Registrar and take a look. You want an A- in the sciences. How about Environmental Studies 7 or 35?
And under this intellectual gem of a system you can even look up the professors who traditionally tend to give more A's. Well, that's a relief. You can now do some comparison-shopping. Don't be undersold! Ninety-five cent Whoppers at Burger King and $27, 000 A's at Dartmouth.
By the way, for all of those people who don't want a multitude of courses on their transcript that list an A or A- as the median grade, there's an even more intelligent solution. Just enroll in a few traditional gut-like courses (the infamous ones usually have a median of B+), put in that little extra effort, and come out smelling like roses.
Who needs an SA course guide when the administration is liberally listing all the information you've always craved.
And if you aren't getting that much desired straight A in week seven of the term, the Administration may soon permit you to drop the course, no questions asked. There may be a W on your transcript next to the course name, but hey, the addendum to my transcript says W stands for a job Well-done.
By the way, after much soul-searching, I say we're a lock for number 16 in academic reputation in U.S. News and World Report next year. But maybe the magazine will let Dartmouth drop the category from its cumulative ratings, no questions asked. Then again, magazines exist in the real world.
