Today is Valentine's day. The day of love. But does Dartmouth care?
The Supremes told us once that "You can't hurry love." At Dartmouth, it would seem, you cannot even get love to move along at a crawl.
"When the College first became coed 20 years ago, students weren't dating, and they still aren't dating today," Dean of Student Life Holly Sateia said.
A random poll taken by The Dartmouth revealed a student body equally disillusioned about the holiday.
"If you look up 'love' in any Dartmouth dictionary, it will say 'see one-night stands'," Sarah LeSure '97 said.
The poll revealed a student body full of doubts.
"Love at Dartmouth? You can't be serious. When did it get in?" Christian Haverkampf '93 asked.
And it revealed the student body's emotional turmoil.
"Here at Dartmouth, I do not think many people are in love, or even know what the concept is. We are all confused," Gisela Insuaste '97 said.
Why do so many students express disenchantment with romance at the College?
"I think heterosexual love at Dartmouth would be almost a complete impossibility, because the social life here revolves around inherently mysogynistic social structures," Margaret Chapman '97 said.
Maybe Dartmouth students simply plan too far ahead.
"They don't concentrate on the present because at this school we have always been taught to plan ahead, which works with class schedules, but not with love," Xantha Bruso '97 said.
For whatever the reasons, a disturbing proportion of students came to the same conclusion.
"Personally, I feel that love at Dartmouth is virtually non-existent," Cara Abercrombie '97 said.
Can the prospects for love at the College be so bleak?
Beneath the layer of cynicism which darkens the hearts of Dartmouth students, love - or students' hopes for love - has taken root.
For example, students bought 1,186 carnations to be sent to a special somebody, said Hosea Harvey '95, a member of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity who helped organize the group's carnation sale.
"This is the third year that I have been involved in the sale," Harvey said. "This was the most successful year by far."
Another Valentine's Day success story is that of April Whitescarver '96, who set up 10 different couples for dates today.
"It started out as a sort of innocent thing, just a few of my friends, and then it sort of got out of hand," Whitescarver said.
The couples benefiting from Whitescarver's matchmaking magic will go out on dessert dates to the Dirt Cowboy Cafe at various times today.
"They'll go out, talk, and make a new friend," Whitescarver said.
Perhaps all students do not agree with Daniel Tan '96 that "love - it could happen at Dartmouth but usually does not."
Perhaps we simply need to change the way we approach the whole problem.
"It takes sacrifice, mutual respect and determination, as well as affectionate love and commitment to make a relationship, especially with the D-plan, happen," Leah Cummings '95 said.
