Daily Debriefing
New Hampshire Fish and Game Department officials have reported that a stuffed teddy bear is responsible for causing the deaths of 2,500 trout at a hatchery in Milford. According to Hatchery Supervisor Robert Fawcett, the teddy bear clogged a drain, thus depriving the fish of dissolved oxygen and resulting in their unfortunate suffocation. "Please think before you act. If a teddy bear is dropped accidentally, find a fish culturist and tell them quickly, so they might save your teddy bear, and keep it from becoming a killer," Fawcett said. Hatchery officials, in order to account for this new threat, added the following warning to the end of the somber press release: "RELEASE OF ANY TEDDY BEARS into fish hatchery water IS NOT PERMITTED."