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That's right, Oregon

(10/26/00 9:00am)

Think of great college football states -- states with multiple top-tier programs: Florida, Texas, Alabama, California, Michigan, Oregon. Wait, Oregon? That's right, Oregon. For years a seeming wasteland along the college football landscape, Oregon has suddenly become the football capital of the West Coast. The Ducks of Oregon and the Beavers of Oregon State are in contention for the Rose Bowl. The teams feature contrasting styles: Oregon's offense is good, but its strength is a downright overpowering defense; Oregon State has an explosive offense featuring the nation's fifth-ranked rusher, Ken Simonton. If both teams win out, which is not only possible but likely, they will face off on the last week of the regular season with identical 9-1 records, with the winner going to the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. This game, dubbed the "Civil War" by Oregonians, has been meaningless for years outside the Northwest; now it has suddenly become the game of the year in the Pac-10.






Watch the Chickens

(10/26/00 9:00am)

I've once heard of a corner on a road which there were continual fatalities. Drivers, despite warning signs, would speed around this corner and be killed. Finally, one of the local councilmen had a bright idea. He suggested putting chickens on the side of the road. They did, and fatalities dropped dramatically; the drivers slowed down for the sake of the chickens!






Will students lose their minds over cable TV?

(10/25/00 9:00am)

The new, expanded cable system that Dartmouth now offers has brought both good and bad to campus. The average GPA for campus has dropped from 2.8 during the spring term of this year, to just under 1.5 for this term. Like Hardware's glowing space-ropes, the new cable channels have ensnared Dartmouth College. Having been drawn in by Melodia's siren song, the average student finds himself in the center of one of Windhammer's brutal red dust storms. But some good has come with this decrease in scores; Students are achieving record levels of proficiency on the College Board's oldest and most respected test: The "Silverhawk" Aptitude Test.


(Hardly) free agents

(10/25/00 9:00am)

I heard a rumor the other day that baseball is played outside of New York. I'm just as surprised as you are, but apparently there are 28 other teams out there, with 28 general managers, all of whom are salivating over the richest free agent class in baseball history. Money (lots of it) will be spent, franchises will be reborn and loyalties will take a backseat to checkbooks. Below are the top five most eligible ballplayers, coming to a stadium near you.






The Bubba Factor

(10/25/00 9:00am)

Well, it is now less than two weeks until Election Day, and Al Gore and George W. Bush are making their last second pushes to mobilize their base to get out the vote and appeal to those few coveted independent voters who are still undecided. In recent weeks Bush has surged ahead of Gore and it now appears he is leading in both the popular and electoral vote polls. Still, the large number of undecided voters and toss up states are making it difficult to project a winner at this point. So what is Gore going to do in the next 13 days to get the toss ups to go his way?